Obscure

• Chp. 33 •

Beth

He held my hand so naturally without even knowing what he was doing to me. Jay had done this numerous times. In fact, we've done things even more than this so it shouldn't be making me this nervous.

It must've been the years we've been apart that made the difference. My heart raced abnormally. My hands twitched when his fingers interlocked with mine. I turned my head to the side to catch a glimpse of him but immediately looked back at the ground after taking a peek.

On the other hand, he was so calm and collected. He didn't seem affected in any way. It was only me here acting like a fool. Without realizing, I let out a sigh.

I felt Jay's gaze on me but refused to look. After some time he looked straight forward as we continued to walk towards the backyard.

It was funny how we went in through the back door rather than the front door. It felt as if we were still attached to the garden.

Back then when I found out Jay had similar interests as me I was relieved. It felt as if I got a bit closer to his world.

The sound of our shoes brushing past against the dry grass was soothing to hear. The keys jiggled as Jay pushed it into the key hole and unlocked it. The warm air that was trapped inside blescaped through the small opening outside.

It had been so long since we came here together but everything was nearly the same with only a few plants replaced. Carter really did a nice job. I was impressed with his work.

"How is this place still the same?"

Jay was shocked to see the garden so perfect and well kept. He was surprised to see the plants alive without any care. His head turned to face me but I quickly looked straight ahead.

It was all too obvious now. This wasn't any good at all. I avoided his eyes again.

"Carter took care of it. He insisted that he would do it since both of us couldn't come back to this place."

Carter didn't allow me to come here alone. He thought it wouldn't be safe. He noticed that I wanted to tend the garden so instead insisted he do it himself. It wasn't what I expect and I really appreciated his concern for me.

After I got to know him, I realized he wasn't such a bad person as I thought he was. I was surprised myself to see how well he kept the garden.

"Isn't it lovely?"

Without thinking, I turned towards Jay as I smiled. When I turned, he was right behind me. Too close to me. My smile slipped away out of nervousness. I took a few steps back startled from the closeness but every time I stepped back he got even closer.

"Um."

Why is he getting so close?

I was panicking. My head turned away from his gaze but I already felt my cheeks reacting and blooming with color. Even though I was looking away, I knew he was still staring intensely at me.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

It was all too obvious for him. He would've known sooner or later but I really didn't want him to question me further.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You've been avoiding me every time I tried talking to you."

I really wasn't avoiding him. I just couldn't look into his eyes when he stared back at me that way. I hated how my body reacted and I hated how I was doing this to him but...

"I'm just...anyway I'm not avoiding you."

His hands grabbed onto my arms gently pulling me close to him as his head lowered to meet my eyes.