For Better or Worse.

Part 20: Graduation.

Do you ever feel like life is passing by so quickly and there's nothing you can do to stop it? Well that's currently me.

I can't believe today is the day.. it's the last day of high school forever, I'm graduating and couldn't be more prouder of myself.

If someone would of told me a year ago I'd make it this fair and actually graduate I'd laugh and tell them they were dreaming, I honestly thought there was no way to escape my demons and the haunting memories.

Life is way too short to be held up on grudges, past mistakes and holding onto the past. I've come such a long way and I'm so bloody lucky to have the friends and family I have. Quality over quantity.

Interrupting my deep thoughts I hear my door hit against the wall making me jump, looking up I see my mum smiling from ear to ear at me holding her arms against her chest with my dad next to her hugging her side.

"Whatcha thinking about baby girl?" Mum asked curiously.

"What do you mean?" I asked moving a strand of my hair behind my ear finishing my make up.

"You're deep in thought just staring at yourself in the mirror smiling like a weirdo" dad laughed making fun of me.

"Ha ha, I'm just reflecting on how crazy this last year has been and I can't believe I'm actually graduating today. Who knew I'd make it this far."

"I always knew you had it in you, you're such a hard worker and I couldn't be more prouder of you baby girl." Dad sobbed wiping his eyes, he's such a softie.

"Don't make me cry, I'll ruin my make up!" God could I be anymore dramatic? Probably.

"I'm just so damn proud of you. You're all grown up, look how beautiful you are!"

Getting up from my make up vanity I ran up to them both  giving them the biggest hug, letting go I watched them walk away and I looked over myself one more time in the mirror.
Let's do this.

Walking into the school yard I couldn't shake of this feeling anxious was an understatement, I was absolutely shitting bricks. What if I tripped in front of everyone or fell off the stage? What if they don't call my name and this is one big joke? I honestly had to stop otherwise I wouldn't make it into the room where the assembly was being held.

"Fucking hell Ad, stand bloody still will ya!" Sam laughed nudging me.

"S-sam stop."

"What's wrong?"

"I- I think I'm having a p-panic attack!" I tried to speak in between breaths, my chest was so tight and I could barely breathe.

"Addison just breathe!"

"I-I'm fucking trying!"

"Oh mate I don't want to have to plan your funeral, keep kicking!"

I honestly turned around and punched him I the chest.

"I'm sorry I don't know what to do I'll go find someone to help!" He quickly ran off to find someone.

I went to the closest bathroom and held onto the sink trying to catch my breath, there was no one else in here which I was thankful for. I've had these plenty of times but for some reason I couldn't calm myself down. This is it. This is my end. Dying on my fucking graduation day, go figures.

What felt like forever someone came into the bathroom, I quickly tried to pull myself together and turned around.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit" The worlds left her mouth as she looked me up and down.