The Barren Thorns: I Know You ✔️

Chapter 31: Dark Side

"Will you get that? It should be the security system guy," Desmond asked me, his face half shaved.

"On it," I called pulling my hood up.

"And please check the fückïng window first. I know you've got your wits about you because it's not the pizza guy this time but I'm still nervous you'll get mauled again." He chuckled slightly.

It been four days. Four days of living like prisoners. Four days since he let me open the door last. Four days since I said yes. Need an instant replay?

Picture this we were both buck naked, banging on the bathroom floor. Wait. That's a Shaggy song. Sorry. Alas, we were fully clothed. And sobbing so pretty much the opposite of what I originally said.

He was asking if I really wanted to leave. Questioning if I was walking away. Begging me to put the ring back on. Hoping I would trust him.

"Yes," I replied.

He looked at me with uncertain eyes. "To which part?"

I thought about it a moment and realized I couldn't remember the questions or the parts. Just the word yes was screaming in my head and heart. "Whichever one makes me stop panicking at the thought of losing you."

I barely got the words out and he was scooping me up. His cries grew as relief washed over him. Guilt rained down and took the place of his fear. His fears that had been consuming us both, now replaced by my guilt that was pulling us under. I peppered kisses across every part of his that I could find. Our bodies were tangling and wrapping around each other. We were soon a puddle of tears, snot, and flesh on the bathroom floor.

I forced him to detach from me and he froze. I pulled him gently to go lay in our bed where I could hold him and apologize for all that I'd done. For it was I who was to blame for both of our hearts breaking. I was afraid. Paralyzed and constricted by the pain of the past and it's threats to reappear in my life. And I'd failed to see what his mom had tried to make me see: we were both a little broken and a little battered but as horrifically cheesy as it sounds, our relationship was the glue that would keep us each from crumbling completely. I'd found him. I'd found my once in a lifetime love. I could fall back into the pit but he would be there to help me back up.

"Hi, thanks for coming. I'm Ivy." I smiled slamming the door closed behind our guest and locking it.

"I'm Jeffrey," he shook my hand.
"Quite the mess you've got out there." The man laughed as he wiped his feet on the mat. "If I'd have known it was that bad, I would have slipped you in sooner. We just typically get overly dramatic phone calls. I see now that wasn't the case here," he reddened and gave me an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry about," I brushed off as I led him through to the kitchen. I could only imagine. We'd gotten their company's information from Desmond's management. That meant they only catered to the rich and famous. I pictured spoiled superstars who thought the garbage collectors were stealing from them and stupid things like that.

But no, we had teenagers littering our front walk with love letters to my fiancé. Some ringing the door bell. Some yelling about how I was not good enough for him. The usual. "Ivy? Love?"

"I'm here, babe!" I shouted. "Would you like some tea? I'm getting pretty good." I offered the man and he accepted.

Desmond sighed with relief when he saw me and Jeffrey in the kitchen.

Desmond and I reached the bed and immediately fell into it. Time, circumstance, feeling was all wobbling and threatening to evaporate completely. I pulled Des toward me to remind me that I am alive. "I'm so sorry, Desmond." I whispered between wet, sloppy kisses on his cheek and neck as I nuzzled. "I let it all get to me and I lost my head. Can you ever forgive me?"

Desmond should have been livid. He should have made me beg for his forgiveness. But being the wonderful man I loved instead, he pulled my face and held it to his. "I'll always forgive you," and his lips fell on mine.

The gesture caused us both to sigh in relief.

"Well, that was easy," Jeffrey smiled. Desmond had insisted on the best of everything. No matter the cost. Soon we'd have a gate, controlled by our phones; cameras around the property; motion sensors; and my favorite: an intercom from my phone that allowed me to unlock or lock the door from anywhere in the house and speak with the person on our doorstep. Technology is so cool.

"So when do you think it'll be done?" Desmond asked putting an arm around my shoulder. He'd been doing that a lot. Reminding me that he was there or reassuring himself that I was there through gentle, possessive embraces.

The kiss started slow, loving and tender but it grew. It felt as though we weren't capable of anything other than pressing our bodies closer to one another and placing our lips together. My mouth moved against his and soon enough my shirt was discarded as was his. I relished the feel of his bare skin on mine. "I need you," he breathed into my mouth. I didn't know when the tears stopped and panting started but I had no interest in dissecting it.

"Take me," I moaned into his shoulder as I bit down on his flesh.

There were no barriers between our needy bodies within moments. "Tell me you need me like I need you," Desmond requested. Unlike his usual commands in bed, this one was full of uncertainty and necessity.

"I need you. I need you like I need to breathe. I need you like I need water. I need you like I've never needed another person in my whole life." Desmond's gaze watched me carefully as I admitted these things. They were true and tears started to pool against the barrier of my eyelids yet again, as I realized the words were true. I'd almost walked away from my life force.

Desmond hovered over me and I felt him positioned at my entrance. I wiggled and tried to take him into me. This made Desmond smile softly, relief flooded my soul in that moment as I saw the small smile appear. We would be ok. That much was clear.

The tears fell as soon as Desmond had pushed himself entirely into me. "Tell me you love me like I love you."

"But I don't. I don't love you like you love me. No one has ever love another the way that I love you, Desmond." I whimpered slightly by the end of the statement and again the sense of what I'd almost done threatened to engulf me.

Somewhere around my second climax sobs were ripping from me. The ecstasy of his embrace and his love combined with the pain and fear of what could be were overwhelming me. I was weeping when Desmond came. Telling me he loved me as he did so.

"Babe?" I called as I made my way down the basement stairs. I found Desmond scribbling away at his writing desk.

"Yes, darling?" He didn't look up. He didn't have to. He was writing and I could respect his craft.

"I was just wondering what you want to do about dinner? We're pretty much out of everything." I plopped down in the armchair in the nook he'd set up just for me.

"Ummmmmmmm..." he drew the sound out as he jotted down the last few things.

"Keep writing. I'll have a small snack and then we can order when you're ready. No rush." I rose from my chair and headed for the stairs.

"No, I'm done. Come here, I want to show you." He smiled and beckoned.

I obliged and walked towards him. He immediately pulled me into his lap. I relished his touch, our near miss had me feeling grateful for every embrace. "What's up?"

"Read this," he instructed holding paper in front of me.

I let my gaze settle on the scratched out words on the page:

All the dangers
All the darkness
It threatens us
Forever in a ménage a trois
You, me, and our grief
Our demons lurk
Constantly over our shoulders begging for entrance,
begging for the allowance
to define our ruin,
Darkness can consume you but
I will be your light,
Self doubt can cloud me but
you will be my sun.
I will brighten your dark days,
I will take away that pain.
You will make everything ok,
You will keep me sane.
Tears will fall,
Cutting lines,
Like razors on your soul,
But I am here now,
Let me make you whole.