Drowning / SM

Chapter 24

I can't see who it is because of the darkness of the room and all the people around. All these people are dancing together, enjoying their evening, not even caring about what them people say.

I don't know who it is because I don't recognize him but I just want to do the same and enjoy this. so I just get on the dance floor with all the others and start dancing as if it was the last time that I'll dance, as if there's no other medicine to heal me, as if the music that is playing is a timer before my life ends... as if I was alone.

I don't care about the others or what they could think, I just get in my own bulb to feel free, to set myself free, just to forget. To forget, only for a moment, what's going on in my life or what would happen.

Many songs play and I dance all along but it isn't enough. Not anymore. I want to feel like I'm a bird and put all the weights that I have on my shoulders down.

I look everywhere around to find something to eat or to drink. Just a little. Just to hold on. My eyes finally lock on a bottle, on the coffee table. I don't even know what is it but I just take it and start to drink. I'm not even taking a glass. This bottle is mine for the night.

While I'm drinking, a song comes on and I stand up on the coffee table. This song that is playing is going pretty slow but I feel like it gets faster and like it is building up to the chorus. I just start dancing on it while listening to the lyrics. All the emotion, all the distress, all the pain, all the fear, all that fucked up shit just overwhelming me and I'm just crying, still drinking and dancing.

Help me.

I need help.

I won't survive. I can't do this. I'm giving up.

Just have a drink and you'll feel better...

Do I really need this? Do a really have to do this, to destroy myself while there already are other people who do this? But is there a medicine strong enough?

I don't know who is this fucking dude who sings this but I hate him.

He's saying the truth and the sad reality. Everything is coming out because of his lyrics. As if he knows how I feel. As if he was reading me. And I just need help otherwise I'll fail.

I just keep on drinking, the burning liquid flowing down my throat and the bottle getting emptier but I just can't contain myself. My head is burning out, my eyes hurting because of the tears and I feel like my legs won't support me anymore. But the song. That song is just holding me. It's keeping me strong as it's punching me with all this truth. This song is setting me free as it's holding me back.

Will it go that way? Struggling with a song? With lyrics? With a voice? That voice that hypnotizes me.

I need somebody now because this song is just killing me.

"Hey!" I hear a deep voice approaching me and taking the bottle from my hand and pulling me down off the table. "Enough for tonight!" that same voice says but I definitely don't know who it is.

I try to struggle so I can stay up on the table but these big hands are pulling me.

"Leave me alone! I want to stay here! Just leave me" I shout through the music, my eyes still watering.

"Don't you see how you are? you're definitely not feeling good!" the voice shouts back at me and the person just pulls me into their arms with all their strength and I just fall while getting down of the table but, fortunately, that person lifts me up. I couldn't have resisted. It's a man.

"Leave me alone..." I try to say weakly but a voice behind me just makes me jump.

"She wants you to leave her alone!" I hear the voice yelling and I just turn back to see who it is but my mind is too blurred to put things together in my head. I don't know who's talking, whether the man who took the bottle or the one who yelled. "She has the rights to do whatever she wants!"

"What? Don't you see how sick and lost she is? You want her to get to the hospital or what?"

"She came with me so I'm bringing her home..." then his voice gets sweeter, probably talking to me. "Here, just come here." this second man says and take my arm to make me walk to him but the other one holds the other arm.

"She won't go anywhere with you! now just let her get some rest and don't piss me off"

"Stop yelling!" I say while covering my ears with my hands. "I-I jus-just want to sl-" I start to say but I feel my eyes closing and my legs don't support me anymore.

It's the total blackout after I felt on something... or in someone's arms.

-----

Hello beauties! I know I haven't updated in a while but I was too busy to write because of the Shawn's hints on social media and the new single which I love with the bottom of my heart. By the way, who do you think is it and what will happen next?

love you.

-----