Have a Little Hope

6. Have a Little Goodbye

‘What are you doing tomorrow, Miss Hopey?’ She asks as we get in her car. She puts my favourite radio station on before reversing out of her parking space and driving us off.

‘I’m visiting the women who got my dad’s lung,’ I murmur cautiously. ‘I thought it’d be a good idea to just get two visits done as soon as they would like before they could change their mind.’  

‘What was it like yesterday?’ She dares to ask.

I twist my lips and nod. ‘He was nice. I just hope the rest are.’ That is honestly my biggest fear, that one of these recipients does not deserve a part of my dad. I don’t know how I’ll react if one turns out to be horrible.

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ She checks. ‘I can take you there and come in with you?’

I give her a weak smile at her efforts. I have the sweetest friend in the world. Belle will do everything to help everyone but herself. This is why I’m so happy she has Peter, because he pays her back tenfold in kindness and appreciates his girlfriend like the goddess she is to everyone else.

‘It’s okay, Belle. It’s something I need to do on my own.’

She nods understandingly, but adds, ‘Of course, but I’m here if you need me.’

                                                 oOoOo

I woke up ridiculously early this morning, but I put that purely down to the fact that I’m meeting Florence Argent today. My panda eyes are doing nothing to hide the fact that I had an awful nights sleep.

Florence is the mother who received one of my dad’s lungs not so long ago. From the information that my Nan gave me, I know she’s a mother of two young children and lives an hour away from school, which is why I’m getting the train over to visit her, rather than causing inconvenience for anyone else. I didn’t think I would be, but I’m a lot more nervous about this visit than I was with Cole’s. Meeting Cole went so well; maybe even too well. He was so accommodating, helpful and welcoming, and if Florence isn’t like that, I know it’ll tear me in two and it’ll hurt knowing that a horrible person has a part of my lovely and wonderful dad inside her. It wouldn’t be fair, it wouldn’t be right. I could see myself yelling if that was the case, but I’m praying that Florence is as nice, if not nicer than Cole.

On the train, I get out my phone and impulsively search through my phone book and call Cole. I don’t know why or what I’ll get from calling him, but I feel like I need to talk to him. If anyone knows what to say before I meet Florence, as a person meeting me for the first time, he should. Well I really hope so.

‘Hello? Is that Hope?’ He checks.

‘Hi, yes, it’s me,’ I mumble back, looking awkwardly around the carriage.

‘Hey, how are you doing?’ He asks genuinely. I can hear him shuffling around before settling so I can hear him properly. He has a really nice telephone voice actually, not deep, but velvety and manly with a definite West Country accent, similar to my grandparents.

‘Well, that’s why I’m ringing, actually. I’m meeting another organ recipient today and I’m scared. Really scared,’ I admit, pushing my hair back behind my ears. ‘I didn’t know who else to call,’ I admit awkwardly. He probably thinks I’m crazy, but he must know more than anyone what I might be feeling.

He pauses for a moment, before answering. ‘That’s natural though, Hope. I wasn’t nervous about meeting you, I was excited actually, and I’m sure the recipient will feel the same way. They agreed to meet you, didn’t they?’