Chew ✔

•1•

William Moore POV

I didn't choose to be like this.

To be here.

It's 8:40 on a Monday.  I should be at home, studying or whatever. But I'm not- I'm here in the gym, my breath ragged and hard, my heart vibrating and pulsing in my ears. Sweat dripping down my face, pooling on top of my shirt. I pound my legs harder, feeling the burn as I speed up. I'm on the bicycle now, and if the machines right, I've burned 150 calories, which plus the other 400 I've burned on the steps and treadmill, means I can go home. 

But I don't want too. Euphoria shivers down my body with energy I didn't even know I still had. 

It feels really good.

This light feeling, as if I'm floating. 

I start to slow down and when I've come to a stop I take a swing from my water bottle and chug it down quickly filling my empty stomach. 

The gyms really quiet. Everyone's is here simply just for themselves. There's no mindless chatter, no distractions. Here I can think. Really think- about everything. 

My head feels weird so I jump off the bike, and immediately my legs give, sending me pummeling to the ground. A hand grabs my arm and pulls me up-

"Hey, take it, easy dude." 

I shrug him off roughly with a glare. "I'm fine." But I'm not, my head's pounding, and I can barely walk on my own two feet.

I don't even look to see who helped me up, instead, I turn and head to the locker room, blinking my eyes harshly hoping for things to come back into focus. This happens ever so often, when I get up to fast, or if I've been exercising for a while. I'll get over it.

It takes me fifteen minutes to get home. From what I can tell, mom and dad are both have both arrived from work, which means I'm late for dinner- really late.

I dry my still sweaty hair with my towel, hoping I look somewhat presentable when I enter our house, but It's obvious I don't. My mom cringes slightly as she leans in to kiss me. And my sister Becca bursts out laughing.

"Eww Will. Please take a shower please, or my nostrils are gonna actually- like- burn." She pinches her nose playfully, and squeals as I throw my arms around her in a hug. I actually like my little sister, of course, she's annoying she's in the 8th grade, but most of the time she's pretty cool.

"Your brother's gotta stay in shape Bec- that's good determination he's got." My dad jokes as he sets down plates on our table. He looks exactly like me, well almost. We have the same broad shoulders, strong jaw, and brown hair- except I have my mom's blue eyes. Dad's eyes are cold and grey, I guess the universe knew I would never be able to pull them off. My mom grab's a bowl of potato salad and casserole from the kitchen and carries them onto our table, my stomach immediately begins to rumble- but I've reached my calories intake of the day. Like dad said, I have to stay in shape-especially if I want to keep my place as quarterback in our school's varsity football team.

"I'm gonna take my meal upstairs," I say, knowing full well I'm not gonna eat it. My mom frowns.

"But I love when we eat as a family." 

"Me too- but I have a lot of homework."

The truth is, eating with my family is exhausting. I have to push food around on my plate, stuff it into napkins, and then sometimes, only sometimes I have to throw the rest up if I go over my calorie limit. It's only sometimes though.

It's not like a problem our anything serious like that.

I just have to stay in shape. Like dad said.

It's not even like I enjoy it either, in fact, I hate every moment of it. It burns, and aches and my eyes tear up. But you gotta do what you gotta do. 

My mom purses her lips and looks at me for a while before shrugging. "Fine, bring down the plate when you finish hun."

Overjoyed couldn't even be the word to describe how I feel. Ecstatic maybe. I grab the heaping plate my mom's served, and make my way upstairs.

I have my own bathroom, so I quickly mush up the food and flush it down the toilet. I jump back into bed and grab my phone scrolling through my Instagram feed. I see a selfie from my girlfriend Amanda, she has the ridiculous dog filter on it, and her long blonde hair is in meticulous curls. I comment something stupid, like, "ur gorg. ilysm", or something.

I go into my group chat, and immediately wish I didn't. They're talking about something I have to scroll and search for, but I finally conclude that it's a party they're talking about, one that Sabrina's throwing. She's one of Amanda's volleyball teammates. I get a text from outside the group chat from Andrew. He's an ass, but he's also my best friend and I've known him forever.

I shut my phone off and roll over until my heads stuffed into my pillow. The last place I wanna go right now is a party. I used to be an avid partier. I had severe FOMO (fear of missing out) and I had a best friend who loved parties almost as much as I did. But now not so much.

Parties are just places where people want to act or look cool, so they gorge themselves on crappy beers that have thousands of calories or drink pure vodka that burns. They do stupid shit, make dumb easily avoided mistakes that result in injury and get in trouble.

It's kinda sad really. But hey it's taken me until Junior year to realize it.

Kids will be fucking kids.