In Love With a Monster (Johan Liebert x reader)

Chapter 33

        Your P.O.V.

"I have always been neglected, mistreated..." you started talking every detail that was now so visible to you.

"Mommy, mommy! Look! I drew you and dad!" you grinned at the woman on the sofa, holding the drawing in your tiny hands. She didn't look at you but kept reading the book in her hands. You pouted, feeling a bit annoyed at the fact that you were ignored. Pulling her sleeve, you succeeded to catch her attention. Her strong gaze met with your 5-years-old childish ones.

"I have no time for this. Go away." She said boldly as her eyes met with yours, fury written inside her "You ruined my body! You ruined everything! How dare you even show up in front of my eyes!" She took another sip of the alcoholic beverage, and stood up, the book falling down to the floor with a loud thump. You gulped, you knew that once again you picked the wrong time to try to make her to like you...to possibly give you some mother's attention.

"Sorry..." you muttered, and started walking backwards with your head bowed.

"________, been looking for you! I'm done with all my homework! We can go outside and play!" a familiar voice said behind you, and you immediately turned around only to see your older brother Kenzo with a smile on his face, and the ball in his hands.

"Onii-chan!" his appearance immediately made all the sadness fade away as you took his hand, running away from the living room.

"Mother... I just wanted to please her. I wanted to be loved by her. But she ignored me." You licked your lips slightly, and continued with your story.

"Dad, I am at the top of the class once again!" you said with enthusiasm, as you proudly showed your report card to the old man which he dismissed with a grunt about job. Knowing that he would not praise you, your enthusiasm slowly started turning into something else. Something...that you failed to see at the moment. Something that was slowly building inside you every time your presence wasn't taken into account. Every time your birthday was forgotten, and you would be sent into your room for being a bother.

Each time you were told or referred as 'mistake'.

"Father, I just wanted to make him proud of me. But he kept punishing me for that." A small smirk made its way on your face "I was nothing more but a drunken mistake..."

And with the time, you started to realize

"Mother, father....I am sorry but I don't want to be a weak person."

"Mother, father....I am sorry but I can't help myself."

"Mother, father....I am sorry but I hate you."

"Both of you... A lot."

You looked into Johan's eyes that were completely focused on you as if you could disappear had he just looked at the other side for a second "The mansion was always full of people...but it felt like I was the only one inside. Solitude was my friend. Or so I thought..."

The two young men, your half-brothers passed you, accidentally pushing you on the floor as if you didn't exist at all.

Except one person.

Kenzo Tenma, your older brother.

"Goodness, number one again! That's amazing! You will truly be successful one day!" he said, and a grin appeared on his face as he ruffled your hair "Keep your light shining, Imuoto."

You took out a necklace which you remembered as Kenzo's birthday gift for your tenth birthday "He thought me about better world...of better tomorrow. He wasn't only my brother, he was my best friend, he acted like a father to me...he was the only who cared for me. So, whenever he visited us, I would act like nothing bothered me. He needn't to know of my solitude, of the pain...no. He was too pure for that. He was a type of a person who deserved only the best. So..." you gripped the necklace with a small smile on your face, and looked at Johan once again "As long as he was happy, I was happy as well. He was my everything, and my goal was to keep any shape of pain away from him. However..."

"It happened that Onii-chan couldn't come home for his birthday, and I begged father to take me with him on the business trip he had to go because it happened to be in Germany. Though...the day I came to Germany, I decided to go out instead of being stuck in the hotel the whole day but...not knowing the language, or anything at the time...I got lost. I have no idea where I was...I just remember there was a lot of snow but no people, no houses...no one. I was alone in some deserted place...That place was the end. Nothing existed there. That's when those bastards, those monsters found me, and took me to Kinderheim 511. I barely remember anything from that Hellish place. Those experiments...made me, the real me fade. I had no name, no passions, I wasn't a human...I lost all of that, and soon I just became a shadow of who I had been...I didn't want to forget my brother, I wanted to protect him but my past...everything was just so harshly taken away... It was too much...too much grief for a child...my mind just erased all of that..."

"I bet father was relieved I was gone. He easily told everyone some made up story how I died in a car crash. That's why my body was never found and shown to Kenzo. Whoever, whatever burned down that Hell of an orphanage...I am thankful to them as fucked up as it sounds...I managed to get out alive with a piece of humanity....a trace of hope that Onii-chan had taught me." You let out a deep sigh, and cupped Johan's cheeks "You know the rest of my story. Now you know how fucked up everything in my life is. Now you know how much broken I truly am..."

The blonde man placed his hand on top of yours, a small serene smile forming on his face "Broken you say...yet you are the only one who see beyond the end."

It felt like in that moment you could unleash all of your emotions, all the pain, everything that was bottled up for so long "Johan..."

You saw the end, and you knew how it feels.

"I have to go to find him. I need to leave you. I have to end this for my brother. You understand that now, don't you?" you wiped your tears, and smiled brightly at him "But I promise you. I will back to you. I love you, Johan. I really do."

And with that you placed your lips on his.

To be continued~

A/N: Sheesh! It took me so long to reveal reader's past but finally all of the pieces are shown ^_^ If some of you forgot, reader did reveal a bit of her past to Johan in some of the first chapters, some of the parts were revealed through her dreams and through Kenzo's POV, and the rest is revealed in this one.