In Love With a Monster (Johan Liebert x reader)

Chapter 24

       Johan's P.O.V.

Being self-controlled was one of the things that I mastered when I was a kid. But sometimes, there were times when I questioned was that upper form of control was really worth around the certain almost-nameless woman. But don't get me wrong, though. It was not like I wished to give to this doubt, to...

"This primary urge of sexual attraction" at least, that was how people would call this....this...urge of mine.

But I was sure it was no sort of that basic and primitive type of feeling.

No, something like that would just be so disgusting, and nothing ______ did was nasty, or rejecting to me. Which was one of the very few reasons I wanted to keep her with me, hidden from the outside disgusting and cruel world. She would not even need to do anything, just be there, just exist next to me, making me feel complete-

Completed...one of the things that I had thought that only Anna was able to make me feel. After all, she was my other half, my better half. However, spending time with Dr.Tenma's sister made me feel completed...but in a different way.

Way that could not be described so easily, and probably never would be able to be explained.

I didn't understand it completely either, and I hated, and wanted it in the same time.

Hated it to the point where I was thinking of just pointing a gun at her forehead, fire it, and end it once and for all. Those feelings, or whatever they were would stop, and I could be completely focused on the goal that was in front of me. But as soon as I tried to picture her being dead, and murdered by the gun I own, by my own two hands...

It didn't feel right. At all. That thought angered the monster in me.

So, I tried one of the few things that I was good at.

Destroying people by mere words.

Simple bare lies with just a hint of truth in them.

Since I knew Dr.Tenma's sister, it wasn't that complicated at all.

But in the same time, I wanted to be near her, to touch her, to consume her, to savour her completely to the point that I started slowly killing her with the words just so she would finally tell how did she feel near me, tell me everything, because I knew it was killing her to keep everything inside when it came to this mad bound of ours.

"For someone so intelligent, you're acting like an idiot right now." she finally snapped and approached me with the determination I had never seen in her before.

Idiot...

I mentally laughed. No one had ever called me an idiot before but then again, she was well known for breaking my unwritten rules.

The anger, the sadness, the guilt...everything was so visible in her eyes, and for a moment, I was ready to be slapped or punched. I still found amusing how ______ had managed to hurt Roberto that one day. She surely knew more than she showed.

But then...

A soft pair of lips landed on my own in a very fast motion, and I found myself a bit surprised. Her hands gently cupping my cheeks.

Captivating...

The non-existing space between our bodies was making me feel just a tad bit funny in the ways I had never felt before. But I found myself wanting more of that.

More of her...

But before I could do anything, she let go of me, made a step back, and started going towards the bathroom because, in her shoes, she felt embarrassed, and wanted to hide from me at the moment.

But I didn't want her to go right now.

I took her by the wrist with a firm grip but a grip that wouldn't hurt her.

No one said a word, and silence filled the room.

Until...

"I fell into the abyss of mad and twisted love for you. The attraction that I never had...is showing only for you. I am broken, Johan. I really am..."

My eyes widened just slightly at the way she was telling me everything.

She turned towards me, and a small but sad smile crossed her face "You know that. I know you do...but I also do know that you deserve someone better. Someone right. Someone who knows how to love a right way...I am not that person, and I'll probably never be. I have nothing to offer you. Not even my right name...I am no one. I am nothing but a mere shadow in this world...A shadow trying to find her body, her identity, her past...So, Johan, please let go of me."

But I didn't let go of her. I couldn't, and didn't want to.

"Perhaps you aren't the only one who fell into that abyss..." I spoke honestly as I found myself approaching her, looking at her eyes that begged to stay.

I felt weak, and exposed just like her.

Even you have nothing to offer, that would be enough for me.

Her eyes widened at my words, and her mouth opened just slightly but no words came out.

We didn't need words.

We didn't the things.

We didn't need the world.

At the moment, we just needed each other.

She smiled, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks in embarrassment and happiness as she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me as if I could disappear any moment. I found myself holding her as well.

She moved just a little bit, and looked at my eyes but soon her gaze was fixed on my lips.

And I did the thing that the both of us wanted.

Slowly, I pressed my lips on hers, just pressed, slightly moving in gentle motion but the desire within us started growing and the two of us killed any space that was between us, kissing each second more passionately,with just a hint of roughness here and there. Her arms moved around my neck, one of her hands playing with the back of my hair, messing with it, completely giving in...

My hands slid down to her waist, bringing her closer as possible, completely ignoring everything that was around us.

Of course, one of the basic human needs made us let go of each other's lips, so we broke apart, small saliva still hanging in the air, connecting our lips as if a small bridge, as our breaths coiled together.

She placed her forehead on mine as smiled happily "I thought this madness would stop if I lie to myself that I was happy without you...but now, I don't want it to end."

But I knew it would have to end one day.

Our wishes were just a whisper that would disappear in the dark as if they meant nothing at all.

That day would be when she finds out the truth about me.

That I was a monster her brother was after.

Your illusion of me is meant to be broken but for now, I just want your nothingness.

A/N: Once again, thank you guys sooo much for every support!! It means a world to me! Also a huge thanks to @SavageBlueSkye  for helping me remember one detail from Another Monster that will be used later on in the story!   (⌒▽⌒)☆