In Love With a Monster (Johan Liebert x reader)

Chapter 25

  Your P.O.V.

It had passed a few days ever since your and Johan had shared that passionate kiss in your room, and had expressed your feelings for each other in your own ways. The relationship between the two of you had not changed that much when it came to physical bond, although you always greeted him with a small gentle kiss on lips and pecked his cheek before going to bed or in the morning which Johan enjoyed very much. Remembering the small confusion which had crossed his face the first time you did that, you slightly chuckled, your soul warm from the happiness that the young man brought to you. He had wanted of you to kiss him on cheek every day as a form of repayment, right? You just slightly had changed some parts.

However, when it came to non-psychical bond, everything stayed pretty much the same.

Maybe the two of you had been close in the first place, and it was just a matter of time who would do the first step to expressing everything that was so well hidden beneath your souls.

Letting out a small sigh, you finished cleaning the mess that you had made while making Castella, one of the simple and popular Japanese sponge cake. Sure, you had always been bad at cooking but the simple sweets, especially Castella, weren't that completed to make. All you needed was some eggs, flour, sugar and mizuame.

"I hope they taste good." you placed them on the coffee table that was in the living room, as well as the hot tea. You looked up at the clock, realizing that it was almost 6 PM, the time Johan had told you that he would probably be back.

You heard someone unlocking the door, at which you assumed it was Johan, so you made your way to the door, and smiled as soon you saw the blonde entering the apartment. For a moment, you thought the two of you probably looked like a nice family.

Perhaps in the future...

"Welcome back, Johan." you said in almost a whisper, a bit embarrassed from the foreign thoughts that had crossed your mind a few seconds earlier, as you placed a small kiss on his lips, which he returned the same moment your lips were pressed on his. It was a simple, and mere small habit that the two of you had developed out of blue. Gentle, and small sign of affection that both of you enjoyed. You let go of him quickly, your cheeks warm, as corners of your lips moved upwards in pleasure. For a moment, you thought Johan's eyes widened just a little bit, as if a forbidden thought crossed his mind, but that thought left your mind as soon as it crossed because Johan's calmness was like usual, and no sign of odd behaviour seemed to be showed.

Maybe it was the fact you wore light clothes because it was warm in the apartment so Johan's hormones were getting the best of him?

Nah, Johan is not like that.

Maybe you just imagined that his gaze on you was different, longer, and more intense?

Perhaps stress was getting too much for you?

"I have a little surprise for you." you spoke, deciding to dismiss all of the weird thoughts, and finally broke the silence that settled between the two of you.

"And what would be the occasion, my dear?" he slightly raised his eyebrows, leaving his brown coat on the hanger.

"Does it have to be one?" you slightly pouted, and took his hand, leading him to the living room like a child that just had behaved badly by calling their mother old "I just felt like doing something nice to you. No hidden motives."

Letting out a small chuckle, he sat on the couch, looking at the small desert "I thought you don't know how to cook."

You winked at him in a playful manner, and sat next to him, leaving just a small space between your bodies "Practice, darling. Practice. Plus...." you sheepishly admitted "Those stuff are easy to make."

With you, my life seems like a fairytale...

A fairytale I want to read forever and ever.

Because you're my prince...

And everything seems to be better...

Even with missing pieces.

"It's very delicious." the blonde man spoke in a soft voice, although there wasn't a sparkle in his eyes nor his lips moved in a smile like other people would when anything something good.

Nothingness...

A small pang of sadness started gripping you inside as you bit your bottom lip, and muttered small thanks to him. You knew very well that it wasn't your fault, but you still wished you could show Johan that there was happiness in the simple and small stuff as well.

In small moments like this one.

"It's from your homeland, yes?" he asked, taking a small sips from his cup as well.

"Yeah..." you continue gazing at the tea in your hands as if it could unlock all of your memories the very next moment "Would people feel less miserable or even happy if they experience Hell with someone they care about?"

Where's that coming from? It feels like Deja Vu slipping from my mouth after every word I said.

"That certainly is an interesting topic to switch after talking about a cake." the young man said the obvious, which made you looked at him apologetically, "As for my answer... they wouldn't. They would still be stuck in Hell, after all," Letting out a small chuckle, he continued " I heard all the worst about that place. They would get destroyed with their loved ones."

Even that night on the roof...

And now...

Johan, what's making you so miserable?

Your eyes widened just slightly, and you shook your head "I disagree with you."

The young man moved his gaze at you, his icy cold eyes piercing through your very soul "Oh? And what else would be their option?"

"Hope. There would be hope. Hope to get out of Hell. If they're with their loved ones, that would give them enough strength to keep going forward. Keep going towards better place. Towards...better tomorrow."

He looked at his cake again, as if still trying to process your answer on the rhetorical question that had come you out of blue "What about human lives? Are they equal to you?"

You blinked in confusion. The sound of his voice made it look like as if all of that was not theoretical at all, and the absurd theoretical answers you come up with were more important to him than you thought.

But then again, you were the one who started this kind of topic in the first place.

"No." you said, and took another sip of your tea as the blonde looked at you with what seemed a genuine surprise "Don't get me wrong. It's not like I am going around killing people. Human lives," you made a small pause and let out a sigh "are supposed to be equal, but in this world they aren't. They never will be."

"I see. The only thing human lives are equal in...is death." he finished his piece of cake, and delicately placed his plate on the coffee table.

"As morbid as it sounds...that I agree with you."

Johan showed you one of his usual serene smile before saying something that made you forget everything else at the moment "I think I have an idea how you might trigger your lost memories."

A/N: This chapter was supposed to be a week ago but real life kept me very freakin' busy >~< And thank you so much for all those votes!! I am literally jumping up and down out of excitement!!