Suffering {COMPLETED}

Hanging

~A year later~
April pov

"Yay!" I clapped watching her smile. "You did it, you're such a smart baby." I smiled.
"What's wrong?" I asked turning to Jayson. He tried grabbing his toy from Jaylon.
"It's okay, here baby." I said handing him another toy.

They'll be one, in a few months. They're so big, and they're crawling, trying to walk and talk. John and I were done having children, unless, I feel like Jaylah should have a sister, but she should be fine. "Honey, I'm home!" John called making me laugh. He took his coat off, placing his case down, he quickly ran to the restroom coming out with wet hands.
"No germs on daddy's hands, hi babies!" He cooed kissing their head.
"That includes you too April." I laughed. "Hi baby, how was work?" I asked.
"Oh, it was really good. So, you know how we have everybody get together and just chill. Well, it went really well. You know I don't like stressing out my workers." He smiled.
"Yeah, I was wondering when can I come back to work?"
"Baby, not now. Plus, you don't have to work for me, you can be a programmer like you wanted. You're work is amazing." He smiled.
"Thank you, but when can I?"
"With all honestly April, I just want you to be with the kids. But because you worked so hard to get where you wanna go, when ever you want to." I smiled and kissed him. "Thank you. I already found the kids a nice daycare, and I already have the job-"
"Hold on hold on." He interrupted. "When did you start planning all this?"
"A while."
He laughed getting up picking up Jayson, "Get back over here little man. Well, I guess April, that's fine."
"Don't sound so disappointed, I've been waiting for this for so long Baby."
"I know, go ahead baby." He smiled.
"But we still have time for everything we do right?"
"Yes, I'll still be able to cruise by while you're at work and help you relieve some of that stress." I smirked. "Oh, then everything will be just fine." He smiled rubbing my thigh. "Well it's time for their little snack." I smiled.
I scooter over to Jaylah and she was ready for her milk. I held her in my arms breastfeeding her. "Look at the boys." John laughed. "They already know the drill, she goes first."
"Then they'll all take a nap, then it will be me-" he got up taking his belt off with ease, "And You." He smiled walking away.

~

I was curled up into a ball with my head on his chest, as the kids laid out in their rockers we had them in the living room. I looked at him and he was knocked out too. I laughed to myself, maybe tonight we'll get ourself some alone time. He's exhausted and have been at work since five this morning. I got up quietly going to the kitchen.

My life right now, is just...amazing! I'm finally happy, a family, and a man who loves me. I haven't been this happy since, hell I don't even know.

Going to the fridge I grabbed some left overs we had and warmed them.

Sitting down, I ate. I looked through my phone happily. Cal, was finally out the picture and that has been my biggest relief other then giving labor to 3 kids.

A few minutes later, John walked into the kitchen.

"Smells good." He yawned. "Can I have some?" He smiled. "Sure. I didn't cook today. The kids kept me busy. If you want me to cook for you I will."
"Oh no you're fine thank you baby." He took a few bites and gave me back my fork. "I think I might just eat some left overs too." He said.

He sat next to me eating his food. "So, everything okay? The kids and everything?" He asked. "Yes, they love to crawl around. Trying to keep them all together is hard the part. One will be going the other way, then the other going the opposite way-" we laughed. "Try to change their diapers, you pick up one and the other 2 start crying and trying to get out their cribs." I laughed. He looked at me and smiled sitting his spoon down. "You're such an great mother, girlfriend, you're just everything. You complete me. I never told you this, but I lost my wife a few years ago before we had met. I had everything I wanted, we were planning to have kids soon, but it never happened. My point is...it was this part of me that was empty, hurt, and you coming into my life turned me around. Everything I had with her I thought I would never find again, you complete that spot in my heart, my life, that has been hurting for so long, You April. And I thank you, I love you. So why won't you just come outside to the far back with me." A little skeptical, we got up.

Heading out to the back, he wrapped his arms around me, he made me close my eyes so I did so. "The kids are fine, we have monitors so don't worry baby." He laughed.
"Just Sit right here, keep your eyes close please."

John pov

Looking at my kids, I gave them a snack to keep them still. She had no idea, I had to wake them up, I was hoping she would fall asleep but she never did. So I had to quickly change them without them waking up. Taking a deep breathe, in hopes the kids won't move too much, I got down on one knee. "Open them baby." I smiled opening the box.
Her eyes wide, she looked at me then the kids. They were in a crawling position, their little butts faced towards her. They read "Will you marry me?!"

I looked at her, I saw how her facial expressions changed suddenly. From a face full of joy to a distressed, frantic look. She got up wiping a tear that had fallen.
"Guss!" I yelled motioning him to get the kids.
"You can put them back in the pusher, and just take them to the living room and sit them in their play pins. Watch them please."

I ran over to April, she was sitting down at the table. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "What's wrong? W-How.." I didn't even know what to say. "I'm just scared John...I'm sorry. It's not you I promise, but it's just my head is fucked up and I don't know, I just don't want to feel that hurt again. I don't want this to end up like my last. You're happy, you love me, it's the same speeches he said too, and then everything went south." She managed to say through her tears. I tried to grab her hand but she moved away.
"It's okay, April. I understand. Maybe too soon." I looked at her as she cried trying to understand how he felt.
"Everything....was too soon." She said just above a whisper.