My Own Personal Hell

Chapter 8: How to Kill Satan in Ten Easy Steps.. Well Maybe Not Ten.

Rose and I arrive fifteen minutes late. Go us!

Apparently, Check In has been doing his best to entertain our guests with a comedy routine he came up with a millennium ago.

"Why do cats have four paws?"

Venny seems to be the only one paying attention at this point. "Why?"

"Well, they couldn't hardly walk with three." Check In laughs.

Frost face palms. "I'm going to kill myself."

"We have arrived!" I announce as Rose and I walk in. "Sorry, we're late."

Venny smiles. "It's ok."

Jason sighs. "'Bout bloody time." He chuckles.

"Let's just get on with it." Frost grunts.

"Settle down, now." Rose sits next to Frost.

"Thank you Rose." I nod to her. "Ok, so, I called you all here today be-" My apartment door swings open and everyone freezes.

A small thin man walks in. He looks normal enough. "Sorry, I'm late. Check In didn't give me the proper time apparently."

I don't know how to talk to new people. Luckily, Jason does. "Hey pal, you must be that Doctor John Check In was goin' on about." He walks across the room and reaches a hand out to the new man. "Names Jason."

"I am Doctor John, yes." He looks awkwardly down at Jason's hand and puts his arms behind his back.

Jason gets the message. "Um, anyway, this is Damen, Rose, Jack, Check In of course, and uh..." he bites his lip.

"Venny."

"And Venny," Jason smiles with guilt showing through. "Sorry bud, didn't know you were here."

"It's fine Jason, everyone makes mistakes." Venny smiles. The tension is thick in the room now.

"Yeah... sorry... about that..." Jason looks down awkwardly.

"It's fine buddy, the past is in the past." Venny shrugs.

There's a long pause.

"I'm confused." Doctor John looks at me.

"Don't worry about it. Ok, if everyone will take a seat, we can get this meeting on a role." I sigh.

"What if I want mine on a bun?!" Check In shouts.

"I'm going to rip your esophagus out." I smile.

The room goes quiet.

"Anywho... so," I clear my throat. As Doctor John finally sits down. "Here's the deal. Sateen, our beloved head honcho, has released nearly all of the residents of Hell, back to Earth. The problem with this is, it could get a lot of innocent people killed. I mean, bad people are down here. Really bad people. If they get what they want up there... it's not going to end well."

There's a short pause.

"But like, why should we care? What have those innocent people done for us?" Frost crosses his arms.

"Well..." I try to think of something.

"Exactly! They haven't. They throw us out like garbage. Leave us to die all alone." Frost shakes his head.

"Not the innocent people I know." Doctor John chuckles. "I was able to get them to do whatever I wanted. They're tools, nothing else."

"No, they are not! Humans are wonderful!" Rose speaks up.

"I'd have to agree with the lady. My wife is a human, and she's amazing." Jason shrugs.

There's a few judgmental scoffs throughout the room. Jason just shrugs again.

"Listen." I sigh. "Whether you love humans, or you hate them entirely, we've all done something bad to deserve to be here. They haven't, which means they deserve a chance." I pause. "Look, I've done some horrible things in my life." I look at Venny. "Things I can never take back, things I will feel guilt for, for the rest of my life." I look down. "Maybe now, I can do something to make up for it."

There's a pause.

"You know what I did?" Frost sits up. "I killed my brother. I was angry at the little twerp. A little 4 year old kid. He was just getting on my nerves this one day, so, I left him outside in the cold to try to teach him a lesson. I left him out there all night, I didn't know it'd kill the brat. Now? Now I have to spend an eternity in ice right outside my front door! Locked out, unless someone let's me in!" He stands up. "That's my own personal Hell right there. And you know what? If I save a few humans, I'm not gonna magically feel better! I killed my brother! I have to live with that for the rest of eternity! Who cares, anybody else? I don't care. I want to save my brother, but I can't. I can't even say I'm sorry. I'll never see him again!" Frost starts crying.

Rose stands up and hugs him.

The room goes quiet. There's a long pause.

"I just made a deal with the Devil to be able to play guitar, so..." Jason says then bites his lip.

Frost sniffs then chuckles. "You're an idiot."

"Hey, I can still play guitar can't I?" Jason laughs too.

"Fine Damen the Demon... for my brother, I'll fight with you." Frost nods.

"I was already in." Venny shrugs.

"Me too." Jason smirks.

"It was my idea." Check In scoffs.

"I want to fight too." Rose smiles.

"I just thought it sounded interesting." Doctor John chuckles.

I look around. "Well then, it's settled. From this point on, we are The Seven Deadly Sins."

"Ooh! Code names!" Check In claps.

"Code names?" I shake my head.

"Yes, and I've already got them picked out!" He stands up and grabs his clipboard. "Ok, Damen, you're Pride."

"Wow, thanks buddy..." I sigh.

"Rose, your Lust."

"Didn't see that coming." She crosses her arms.

"Frost - Anger. Venny - Envy... 'Cause of that whole love triangle thing."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I say. "Who told you about that!?"

Venny raises his hand. "I did, he asked which of the seven deadly sins applies to me most. Might as well be honest."

"May I continue?" Check In asks. There's no response. "Ok, good. Doctor John - Greed, An-"

"Under what preface am I greedy?" Doctor John squints.

"I don't know, you look greedy." Check In shrugs.

"What."

Check In looks back at his board. "And Jason will be Gluttony."

Jason looks up with a mouth full of chips. "Am not!"

There's a pause.

"Well, that's it then, I guess... meeting adjourned."