stayin' alive

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by 5sauce_and_spaghetti

by 5sauce_and_spaghetti

Not that anyone's going to read this, but hey.

So it's been a while.

Life's been weird lately. A lot of not-so-good stuff went down at the beginning of the school year (some losses in my family) and my anxiety sort of reached its peak, same with my "depression" (which has yet to be actually diagnosed but ya know). Junior year is stressful, and I have midterms this week. So...fun.

But there is good news.

I've started going to therapy. I'm on my second therapist after starting some time in late October, thanks to a really bad mental breakdown in front of my parents. I really like the one I'm currently with after not getting much out of the first one, plus this new one has a dog! So that's always good.

Also, I say this every year, but I think my friendships are at least sort of starting to solidify. I'm definitely still feeling like kind of an outsider a lot, but I'm trying to stay positive. I have a lot of underclassmen who I care a lot about, and I know some of them have worse mental problems than me. I'm doing my best to guide them through high school as well as I can.

Academics are...hard. I'm taking two AP classes, I can't stand my theology class, and I'm not going to be taking my two favorite classes next semester because they were only half-year courses, but I'm trying to stay positive about that stuff too. I think I get to talk to my advisor sometime this month, so hopefully that should help me feel more comfortable about classes and *shudders* college.

I'm going to be a part of my school drama club like I was last year (though I never wrote about that) and I'll be helping out at my old middle school again. They're doing Into The Woods Jr, which should be...interesting. Especially considering most of those kids are NOT ready for Sondheim (nor is our music director). But I'm sure they'll do fine.

All in all, things have been tough. I'm mostly writing this for my sake, since I find it easier to type all of this to an invisible audience than jot it down in a book (my mom has gotten me like 5 journals in the last month alone). So yeah, if anyone sees this...sorry I haven't written anything in like six months.

-Cat