Rants (because I can't come up with a better name)

words

I hate talking.

Okay, that's a little bit extreme sounding, but I can't understand how people are so good with words when it comes to speaking out loud. I always mess up what I want to say, or when I have something really cool and witty or something I want to say out loud, I just sort of accidentally screw up and say the wrong thing or just stammer or something.

This is why I'm a writer.

I prefer writing so much more than talking. I'm better at it, and I sound more sophisticated, and I don't need to worry about the way I speak or anything. I don't need to worry about how my voice sounds, or how I think it's too deep, or what my words are. I can go back and erase whatever I've written and make it sound better or the way I want it to. I don't need to worry about screwing up because I know I can fix it with some editing. That's just how my mind works, and there are times when I am so incredibly jealous of talkative people who can always get their thoughts across perfectly and get their jokes out properly and all that. 

I write because it's the only way I can really get my thoughts across.

I know some of you might not be the same, even though you're on this website. Some people are good at both talking and writing, and I am so jealous of those people, too, but I try to avoid being bitter about it. 

I'm currently texting one of my "friends" (someone I don't talk to much outside of school mostly because she annoys the hell out of some of the people I'm constantly trying to help and comfort) and having a discussion about this. She understands where I'm coming from, and somehow, it's really comforting. I've been getting annoyed by this girl a lot recently, but I think it's reading her words instead of hearing them that's helping me get along with her more.

I just sort of wish I was better in person.

-Cat