This is the girl who I admitted to liking, who I went to my concert with this year.
She's been texting me every once in a while about her ex (I've ranted about this before) and it has been so incredibly frustrating, I can't even explain it. It's anxiety-inducing, exhausting, and terrifying all rolled up into one lovely text conversation every three-to-five business days.
Luckily, they've let up a bit recently.
And then she decided that she wanted to text me tonight to talk about "us".
And, in all honesty, the conversation wasn't that bad.
There was a lot of long text messages from me (because I'm the kind of person who can write a 100-word text in under two minutes) and short ones in return from her, but overall I think we've actually gotten somewhere.
You want to know why she kept texting me about her ex?
"I kinda went out of my way to talk to you about her because i still like you and like i wanted to you say something i dont know i can't handle my emotions im like 5 burn me alive please"
Exact quote from our conversation.
I could tell from the undertones of her words sometimes that she was indirecting me within our personal text conversation, but I never wanted to bring it up. Having her finally admit that makes me feel so much better about things, even though I do feel a bit guilty that it took me this long to sort of confront her about everything.
But things between us are actually kind of okay now.
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I somehow managed to type this shit out and it seems to have helped.
Hopefully this means she won't bring up her ex again, at least for a while. She still kind of wants to be in a relationship with me (more than kind of, actually) but I'm still not quite comfortable with that, and I told her. I can tell she's disappointed, even over text message, but I don't know what to tell her.
I'm starting to think I'm asexual, and, since that's the reason her ex broke it off with her, I don't particularly feel comfortable telling her that.
You can understand my reasoning, right?
So anyway, that's it for tonight's rant. I should get some sleep. School starts in about two weeks and I have to get through two summer reading books, an Algebra II worksheet, and a summer reading project by the first day of school.
