For Only You: A Grayson Dolan Fanfic (completed)

Idiot

Hannah's POV
"Okay okay okay. Enough about me, now we have to talk about you," I smile at Annaliese, slightly blushing from the talk about Ethan. I had no idea that hanging out together was going to end up telling the whole story of Ethan and I.
"Fine, it's only fair, I guess. What do you want to know?" Annaliese asks, caving in.
"Whatever happened to you and Grayson?" I ask, scooting closer, excited. I almost miss her change in her face. It drops, defeated, hurt, ripped-apart, but then it goes back to happy and free. It passes over her so fast I almost miss it. But, there was no way her best friend could miss something like that. I don't say anything, just sit still and wait for her to talk.

"Oh yeah, we're great, actually! Umm we just talked the other day and it's crazy what those two brothers do for fun out there," she smiles, laughs even. But there's no mistaking what's hiding behind those eyes of hers. I've never seen it before. I don't actually know what to do. So, what do I do?
"Annaliese..." I start. She looks back at me. Her smile falters and I can see that she won't hold it much longer. I don't say anything, I just look at her, and she looks at me. She keeps smiling. And then it drops and she's just looking at me. I know what's coming. I know what's going to happen. And so I just give her a small nod, to let her know.
And that's all it takes. Her whole face drops and the face that I saw for only a second comes back, except, this time, it doesn't leave.
"What happened, Annaliese?" I barely whisper, just so she can hear me. And then she starts to cry. I have never seen her so torn up, so... hurt.
"I'm an idiot! A complete and total idiot!" Annaliese all of a sudden sobs. I'm taken aback. I've never seen her like this. She normally doesn't cry in front of me.
"Annaliese, you are not an idiot!" I tell her, moving her face so I'm looking right into her eyes. She pulls her face away and turns around, so she can't see, like she's ashamed.
"But I am!" She sobs out. I open my mouth, but stop. I need her to calm down before I can get anything across to her. And so instead, I crawl up to her and hug her. And I don't let go. She cries and cries and I wonder how much of this is just built up over the past I don't know how long. We sit in the ground, hugging, for 10? 15 minutes? And then her breathing starts to go back to normal and she's just calming down her heart, getting her mind wrapped around what she needs to say.
Finally, she sits up. And she looks like she just ran over a puppy or something. I wipe the tears from her eyes, and give her hands a quick "you got this" squeeze. She takes a deep breath and then starts talking.
"Do you remember about that thing that happened at work awhile ago?" She asks me.
"Of course! I was terrified!" I tell her, slightly confused about what it has to do with her and Grayson.
"Yeah, I never told you, but the guy did it because some girl was jealous of what 'Grayson and I had' so yeah..." I gasp.
"That's why you didn't want to tell me," it starts to click. "But why are you an idiot? That still doesn't make sense."
"I'm an idiot because I let it get to me," she pauses. I can tell that it's hard for her to talk about it. "I called Grayson the next day and left him a message saying that I couldn't be his friend or whatever we were because I didn't want anything like that to happen to me again or any of my friends or family..." she stops talking.
"Annaliese, that makes sense. That doesn't make you an idiot," I tell her, when she doesn't keep talking.
"But it does. I let that one stupid girl get to me. And it ruined Grayson and I's relationship. It was great. They made me laugh and smile and I made them laugh too. It was genuine, no one had to try, and it just... felt right," she explains. I smile, looking down.
"I know that feeling," I admit. "It was always such a struggle to even get Daniel to talk about anything, let alone something important, but with Ethan, it comes naturally. I don't have to force him and he doesn't have to force me, but we both know when to be serious or when to joke around," I smile, thinking about Ethan.
"I wish Grayson called and talked to me as much as Ethan does with you," Annaliese sighs.
"We only talk, like, three or four times a week," I admit, sad that I never get to hear his voice everyday.
She lets a small puff of air go through her nostrils. "That's three or four more than me," she looks down and I can hear her sniffle.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I... I didn't mean to..." I don't know what else to say.
She looks back up at me. "It's not your fault, Hannah. I guess I just choose the wrong guy. I guess I just thought that even if we were just friends, he would still want to talk to me... a lot more than he did," she tells me, breathing out, like she's letting it go.
"No, you didn't," I pause, wondering if I should tell her. "Look, Ethan always tells me about how Grayson is always talking about you. I just thought it was because you guys talked so much and he missed you, but I realize that it's just because he misses you. Like, a lot," I emphasize the last part. I look over at Annaliese. I can see a glimmer of hope behind her eyes. But then it goes away as quickly as it had come.
"If he missed me so much or is missing me now, then why did he never call me?" She shoots back.
"I... don't know," I sigh, shrugging my shoulders.
"Hannah, I really appreciate you trying, but I think I've accepted that we're never going to be friends again. I blamed him for something that wasn't his fault, and then told him we couldn't be friends anymore. He probably never wants to talk to me again, and I wouldn't blame him. No matter how much I want him back in my life, it doesn't change how Grayson feels. I know I messed up. And I can't make Grayson forgive me: that's asking a lot. So, Hannah, I have accepted the fact that Ethan will probably ask you out in the next month or so, and you'll start dating. I have also accepted that I will carry around what happened with Grayson and me around for... ever," Annaliese finishes and gets up. Before she leaves the room, she turns around and in the most raw, most revealing voice, she tells me, "Grayson has one of the busiest lives, I can't expect him to make time just for me." And with that, she walks out of the room, shutting the door, leaving me and my thoughts left, closed up in that tiny room. Before I can get too deep, my phone rings, and I've never been so excited to answer one of his calls before.
"Ethan, we need to figure something out."

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Ohhhh what are they doing?? Also, my heart dropped when I wrote what Annaliese said. I'm the one writing it and even I didn't know she felt that.
But, who's ready to find out what happens next?
Slight tease, the next chapter is titled "Idiot: Part Two" And it talks about the story of the other half of the idiot in this chapter