Seventeen One Shots

H O S H I | Words

A request from lattekwon

[ A / N : this is slightly different from what you requested so i hope you won't be too disappointed. i just wanted to do something to let people know to be more careful of what they say. i'm sorry if i made a few mistakes here because i'm not very knowledgeable(?) about mental health and mental issues]

"It's not easy to stand on stage." Soonyoung always tells you.

You keep that in mind. Even though this sentence is repeated more times than necessary, you still do not get sick of hearing it.

You remember the expression he had on his face when those words left his lips. There is an unreadable expression on his face. It seems like there is mixed emotions. A hint of pride, sadness, disappointment, regret, gratitude and happiness.

"But you are born to be on stage." you say every time. You recall the moments when he stood on the stage and moved as if he owns the whole stage.

"I'm not. No one is." Soonyoung says as he opens a new can of beer, "I just worked hard towards my dream. I was young when I didn't know what this industry was really about. All I thought was that I wanted to dance on stage."

"But you made it, didn't you?" you smile, "You are rising star now, loved by everyone."

Soonyoung nods. "I achieved my dreams."

"Not many can do that." you say with a sigh, "Some don't even have a dream, like me."

"Hey, you'll find yours one day." he assures and squeezes your hand for a brief moment before letting go. You nod hopefully.

"So as I was saying...I'm now able to stand on the stage." he says, "I hear applause, cheers and screams. I see our carats holding up our lightsticks and banners of our names."

"It's always so beautiful." you say as you remember the times you peeked out from backstage and saw the audience they performed in front of.

"But that doesn't mean we don't hear mean remarks. But it's so easy for people below the stage to do whatever they want." he says while looking straight into your eyes.

Somehow, you feel guilty when he says that. You look away from him and he sighs

"It's their job." Soonyoung mumbles, "That's what the people always say."

You watch him stare into the night sky. You follow his gaze and find yourself getting lost in millions of dazzling stars.

"It's even harder to become a star." he says with a small smile on his lips, "You'll have to endure being treated like a robot for the whole of your life. The stress builds up and one day...you might just-"

"I know." The words leave your lips unknowingly. Before you realise it, it is too late.

Soonyoung glances at you briefly and shakes his head. "You won't know, Y/N." he sighs deeply and chugs down another can of beer.

"Soonyoung, stop." you say and try to snatch his fifth can.

The stronger man does not bulge at all and the can remains tightly held in his hand.

"Listen to me." he says and looks at you with so much sadness in his eyes.

You cannot help but obey. You feel that it is wrong not to listen to a man this sad. Maybe he just needs to let out his sorrows.

"Have you ever wondered?" Soonyoung continues, "How much words can hurt a person?"

You nod as you reminisce memories of yourself getting hurt by casual remarks. They were careless words spoken by other people but they were taken so seriously by you.

"A person's mouth is the most painful weapon." he says and stares at the beer can in his hand.

"That's...very true." 

"Indeed." he grins. 

"When people speak, they don't realise how their words can cut a person deeper than anything else." Soonyoung explains as he crushes the empty can in his hand, "That's okay if you are injured by a knife, because time heals the wound. But it's different for words. The wounds are emotional and they cannot be seen."

You nod in agreement.

"This pain remains hidden in the person and no one else can sees it." he says as he gently punches his chest with his other hand.

"Why can't they?" you ask in doubt, "Family members and friends will be able to see the sadness in them."

"They can't. That's why it's scary." Soonyoung raises his voice suddenly.

"The pain is hidden deep inside them. Behind smiles and laughters." he explains, "Oh-They will be able to laugh and smile truly, but never at ease. Because they know once the happiness ends, the darkness will come back lurking for them."

You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head in confusion. "Why don't they get help?"

Soonyoung snickers at your question. "They do. Some make subtle hints to get attention while some seek for professional help."

"But it's still so difficult for them." you add on.

Soonyoung glances at you with a smile. "You know it."

"They are afraid and scared. They don't believe that their sickness can be cured-It's not even a sickness, it's just emotional pain." Soonyoung speaks.

"Sometimes you think a word won't matter at all, but the truth is, it hurts more than you think." he says, "Words can cause someone to lose everything. Everything that they have built and achieved painstakingly will crumble into pieces."

"How so?"

"Y/N, you need to know that money, looks, fame doesn't mean everything. A person that has everything and looks content doesn't mean that he isn't sad on the inside." Soonyoung explains while you listen intently. "Everyone can get hurt. No one is an exception."

"Everyone has feelings." you mumble and Soonyoung nods in approval.

"Just because a person is always smiling doesn't mean he is happy every second. A person that never smiles doesn't mean he is sad every second." he says.

"Just remember, be careful with your words. They can hurt more than you think." Soonyoung says as he stares at the moon that lit up the dark sky.

"Be generous with your compliments. Shower praises to everyone. Don't be a selfish and ignorant person." he says.

"If not, you can be a murderer without even realising." Soonyoung says and drops the beer can onto the ground.

You watch the crushed can bounce for a while before settling down on the concrete ground. You glance at Soonyoung. A subtle smile still hangs on his lips at the end of it.