I Still Think

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After waving goodbye at Aidan and Steve's backs and promptly slamming the door, I run into my room and jump on my bed. The embarrassment is too much; Steve I know will not tease me, but Aidan has every right and every want to. Besides, why would my parents doubt my friends? They had no problem with any girl Ben brought to Prom--

Did I just compare Aidan to a Prom date? Where did that come from?

Slowly lowering myself to stare at the ceiling, Kat's accusations surface in my mind. Just another reminder of the dizzy feelings I've been feeling around Aidan for a while now.

"You're in denial."

Of course I'll deny it; who wouldn't? Its as if Aidan and I are two different species of animals, one with arms and the other with legs. Complete opposites. But as I bring myself back to sixth grade science, I realize that opposites attract.

"It's obvious that you like him."

Is this why Steve's brother gave us weird looks during Visiting Day, why Scarlette is so reserved? Is it obliviousness, is it jealousy? If it is, it is wrong. I can't--don't like him that way. Teasing and bantering is not a sign of romance, its a sign of sibling-likeness. I do it with my brothers all the time.

Right?

"You could be his next girlfriend!"

And as I turn the last words over in my mind, though my brain ruthlessly pushes the thought away as if it is a danger not to be tampered with, I slowly begin to think that this is what I want.

That Kat was right.

That I might have a dream other than being an actress.

But with this, I sit up suddenly, both happy and confused at my realization. Now what am I to do? Tell Aidan; ask him to cheat on his current girlfriend? Apologize to Kat?

I may have said "ah-ha!". But I still think that we have a long way to go before everything lives up to the dream--all of us.

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