Give Me Love. Sequel to Nobody Compares

11. Day Two

ZAYN'S POV:

     Sleeping wasn't much of an option. After her and I broke up, I tried. I tried to sleep. I climbed up into my california king bed, and shut my eyes, but when I'd turn over I'd just crave her touch, or to be so close to her that I could smell her flowery shampoo, and feel her leg entangled in mine, her arm aimlessly strewn across my torso, and her head laid on chest. It was like I was her sense of safety and security. The sounds of her peaceful breathing and watching her chest heave up and down are what put me to sleep, but now I didn't know if that'd ever happen again. I got lucky getting her back last time, but I felt this wave of hopelessness make it's way through my mind.

    Everyone one else in the house was sleeping, and I couldn't begin to tell you how much I envied them for such a simple gesture. I grabbed a box of cigarettes and a lighter. I haven't smoked one in so long, because nothing was that stressful for me. I made my way through the long halls, and the wide rooms until I was out back. I sat on one of the lawn chairs, my thoughts and I. Just out here, staring up the stars and the moon that took over the night sky.

    It was strange. It was almost like I was reliving our last break up. I started thinking back to everything. When I told Lauren about Neena and I, and then when she slapped my across the face. I could still feel the sting that burned on my cheek. Watching her walk away was probably the hardest thing I'd ever been through. Seeing how hurt she was after the denial wore off. I could still hear the way her voice cracked and I could see the tears in those beautiful green eyes. All the pain I was feeling. I deserved that. I made the mistake that time. I will put all the blame on myself because it was me that time. This time, I didn't deserve this.

    I played with my lighter for a good ten minutes or so, just watching the flame appear and then vanish. Much like my relationship. I reached around in my pocket and grabbed my iPhone. It was almost twelve in the morning and I had to be up in a few hours to join the lads in departure with our families. I stared at my lock screen, a picture of her and I, a backshot that Camila had taken. Her head was resting on my shoulder and my arm was slung around her waist, the sun was just setting and it was captured perfectly. I changed the picture to a preset photograph that comes with the phones factory settings. I didn't even want to go through my camera roll to look at a picture because I knew more than half a percentage of the photographs were of Lauren, or the both of us.

     I heard the screen door which startled me, I spun around to see my mum inching toward me. "Don't shoot." she joked. I didn't have much energy to laugh. "What are you doing up?" I asked. She sat down on the chair beside me. "I can ask you the same thing. If you must know, I wanted a glass of water and I noticed a flame out here," she reached over and snatched my lighter. "Which may I say, you shouldn't be smoking."

"I wasn't, don't worry about it, just can't sleep. Thought I'd get some air." My mum reached over and squeezed my hand. "I know this is about Lauren, you've been out of it since you told me this morning that you're "fine"" she did air quotes.

     Just hearing her name made my stomach tighten in knots. My mothers met her twice. First time was when she flew out with me on prom. The two had an instant bond. I shrugged, "I could be better."

"Do you think what you did was the best thing for you, or her?" My mother, asking the hard hitting questions, she should be an in depth interviewer, or maybe a psychologist. "I don't know. I guess for the both of us." I stared off at the pool. The water rippling and glistening from the pool lights. "It's always hard at first, but you'll realize a light will overcome the darkness." she patted my hand and stood up. "Now, you better get to bed." she leaned down and kissed my cheek, giving it a squeeze.

     "Zayn!" I opened my eyes, the sun still wasn't up. Harry's sister Gemma was standing in front of me. "What are you doing out here? We have to head out to the airport in five minutes." she turned and walked away. I grabbed my phone. It was almost five in the morning. I jumped to my feet and ran inside. Liam was pouring his mum some coffee. Niall had left earlier since his mums flight to Ireland takes off earlier. "You slept out there?" Karen, Liam's mum asked. I nodded.