BARE SOULS: A STEAMY TEACHER/STUDENT ROMANCE

CHAPTER 52 | HARPER

I felt humiliated. I somehow knew it but always refused to think about it. Yet the facts were here and I was not ready to face the truth yet.

I would have hoped he'd see me a little differently. He had changed so much during the past few weeks that I had the illusion our relationship had maybe evolved into something more conventional. But I was  way too naive to even conceive that he would change. Things never change. You just believe they do but the cold truth is that  in most case, chances are that you have widely misunderstood.

How did I end up believing there was something deeper than sex between us? Maybe because we started growing close. We started talking, sharing our opinions, we started sharing more than a bed.

So after all, all that had no meaning to him... I thought that the fact that he wanted more from me, constantly asking me to stay other meant he was finally getting attached. But while I was stupidly believing in fairy tales, he was fucking other women, without caring one bit about me.

I should have never showed up that morning. After the misunderstanding from the night before, I felt that I was ready to let him know how I felt. Because I couldn't pretend around him anymore. If loving meant showing your true self to someone then I wanted him to know it all.

I never wrote much in that notebook, but what was in there meant a lot to me. It was the only thing I refused for him to see but I was then ready to show him, even if it meant making him run away. Because I had the crazy hope that he would accept me.

But the expression on his face when I asked to come in proved me that he would have never accepted one word from it. He never cared for my feelings. He never cared about love. He was not looking to get attached. He was a free man and the reminder was pretty tough.

Like a blade piercing through my heart. Like a cold shower making me step back into the ugly realty. I was pussy to him. Just ass, booty and a vagina to have fun, and I allowed him that because I naively fell in love with him, breaking all the rules he set up.

So whatever was in that notebook didn't matter anymore. My feelings could go the hell. So what if my thoughts were going to frighten him? He was never mine anyway.

Instead of throwing the notebook to the garbage, I dropped it in his mailbox, so he could know the damage that he had done. So it could give him a reason to never contact me again.

I ran to my bedroom and cried my soul out. He kissed her like he kissed me, touched her like he touched me, fuck her like he fucked me, held her in his arms like he did to me when we fell asleep. He let her stay over. I was no longer enough to satisfy him now. The game was over and the loss was hard to take.

I passed out, too exhausted by the tears only to wake up a few hours later, realizing by the heaviness in my chest that it was not just a nightmare.

Aunt Lorie asked me to go shopping later that evening, which I accepted so I could get out of the house. See I had no more friends to go to. I had no one to uplift my mood. I was back to square one, hurt and lonely.

At the supermarket, I picked up whatever aunt Lorie asked me to get, walking down the aisle like a zombie, trying to chase the memory of that morning in my mind.

    "Are you gonna cook all that?" A familiar voice asked, making me snap out of my daze. I recognized that voice as Rick's immediately. Because his voice sounded like his, even if slightly softer. My body tightened and an uncomfortable feeling took over me. I wanted to run. I didn't want to see or hear anything connected to Zane. But I was frozen on spot, unable to even say hi. The tears were forming in my eyes and despite my resolve to not cry in front of Rick, I couldn't control my body anymore.