BARE SOULS: A STEAMY TEACHER/STUDENT ROMANCE

CHAPTER 50 | ZANE

I regretted calling her. I felt like I needed to make sure that I had to check on her, but figuring out that Levyn was also there pissed me off. Whenever it came to that kid, she was always weak, which bothered me more and more.

From what I read, the guy was a total jerk who never was able to please her. Yet, she was still deeply in love with him. I never understood why women always get attached to the wrong type of men. And I included myself in that category. She fell in love with him, got attached to me somehow... at least I could fuck her right!

Too pissed at the thought that Levyn was probably going to turn around her like a fly and that she would let him, I decided to go through another round of shots with Rick. Why bother when I could just enjoy myself?

More tequila, more music, more of Sarah's smiles, everything was spinning around me but I kept going, because why the fuck not?

I woke up in my bed with a massive headache and the sound of the door bell. It took me a minute to get situated and realize that someone else was sharing the bed with me. I panicked a bit, wondering who was the sexy naked creature next to me until I recognized Sarah, the girl from last night.

What... The... Fuck....

I sighed. How did this shit happened? I tried to replay the movie of the past night in my head but thinking was only amplifying the pain caused by the headache.

I snapped out of it when I heard the door bell once again.

I managed to get up and zombie-walk to the door that I opened without looking at who it was first.

Big mistake.

She was standing there, wearing just a fitted white button shirt, some simple dark blue skinny jeans and white sneakers, her hands hidden behind her back as if they were holding something. Her hair was left down and no makeup on, as if she left in a hurry. Beautiful Harper was on my door step. Fuuuuuuck...

   "Wh...what are you doing here?" I asked between the door. There was no way I would let her see the inside of my apartment when that woman's clothes were all other the floor.

   "I... just felt like seeing you...I just wanted to make sure you didn't get the wrong idea about my relationship with Levyn..." She explained while looking everywhere but in my eyes.

She looked terribly cute at that moment and for a split second, a smile drew on my lips, until I remembered that I needed to get rid of her quickly before she realized I was not just by myself.

   "You have nothing to explain to me... You're free to do whatever you want"

she frowned a bit so I could tell it was not the answer she expected. I had to act quick here before things turned bad. "Listen Harper, I say and do stupid stuff sometimes... just don't put too much thoughts into it... I'll call you later"

She gave a half smile. "Can I come in for a bit?"

Fuck... How to refuse her that without it sounding too suspicious? There was no fucking way. I sighed and look at her without saying a word, nor without making a move.

She stared at me puzzled. From that moment, I already knew I was going to hurt her. God knows how bad I wished I hadn't opened the door that morning.

Her gaze changed when she understood. And I saw the pain in her eyes when she said "Well, seems like you at least had a good night.... Sorry for showing up". She kept looking at me with a hurtful expression in her eyes, maybe waiting for me to deny that. And I truly wished, at that very moment, that the girl was not still in my bed so I could have lied to her and pretend it never happened. But I couldn't even provide her with a good lie.

She quickly turned around and left and I was left here, like a dumb ass, feeling crapy for hurting her again for something that was not even worth it.

I went back inside and felt stupid. I had already warned her that she shouldn't get attached because all I would do would be causing her more pain. I knew that too damn well but still let feelings settle... Why? Because it was too damn convenient for me.

Whatever... She was probably going to hate me now and she would have all rights to. There was just nothing I could do to change what I had done.

A couple of hours later, Rick showed up, looking like a zombie. "I can't believe I managed to make it to your place without passing out!" he said while dropping on the kicthen counter the take out food he brought with him.

   "I barely can remember last night. All I know is that I woke up with a fucking headache next to the girl from the bar. I don't remember fucking her or anything though...." I confessed.

Rick laughed, not really shocked with what I just said. "I mean, you were pretty fucked up last night. You kept calling the girl Harper. I'm surprised she still followed you home..."

Did I really do that? I couldn't believe it.

   "I guess you really gotta be into her... liquor always speaks the truth" he laughed.

Whatever he said didn't matter anymore since Harper was already out of the picture. "She came this morning... Harper. Figured out I didn't sleep alone last night"

Rick bugged for a second. "Damn... talk about no luck. How bad was it?"

   "She just left" I shrugged. which left my brother startled.

   "Did you at least try to explain?" He asked.

   "Explain what? She caught me, she got hurt, there is no excuse capable to make up for that".

   "At least, you're aware of her feelings" he sighed.

    "Of course... you think I'm stupid?" I answered, annoyed. "I told her..." I sighed. "I told her I was not good for her"

My brother stared at me in silence, and I knew what he thought at that very moment. Still I didn't want to hear it.

He sighed. "Then at least call her or text her to apologize. That's the least you can do if you care at least a little about her".

I knew I had to do that. Yet, I still thought that I technically had nothing to be sorry for since we always stated the no strings attached rule. Even if I always made sure she wouldn't let another one have her. I guess I wanted the rule to only apply to me.

It was not like I wanted all that to happen. Yes, I was a little pissed at the idea she would be spending time with Levyn. But I had technically no intention to sleep with that girl I was not even interested in. I guessed the liquor had the best of me. But my head was hurting pretty bad and I didn't really think about it. All I needed was some sleep.

It was 7:00 pm when I woke up. The headache was gone, finally, and I was ready for a cold shower to put myself back in place.

even though I physically felt much better, I still carried that crapy feeling deep inside. I could still remember her expression when she realized what I had done and, to be honnest, it was not a good feeling at all.

If I hadn't done that stupid mistake, I would have let her enter and she would have made the hangover disappear rather quickly. She would have stayed the day, we would have watched a movie, fucked, cuddled, talked... and she would have stayed the night... just like she had done for the past few weeks now.

But I had to screw that up... And I was not too proud of it.

I pulled my phone and started typing.

   I'm sorry.

Her who always responded to my texts almost immediately, didn't respond at all this time. Oh well... I only got what I deserved.

A little later, I left to do some shopping to fill up the emptiness that my fridge was and when coming back, remembered that I had forgotten to check the mail.

I opened the mailbox and found, under some random ads, a black notebook. I pulled it out and recognized it from the cover.

My name was written on the top right corner with a sharpie.

What the fuck!?