|COMPLETED| The Emotion Love - Heisuke x OC

Chapter 9 ~ Help Me

~ Tsukino ~

It had been a month since the incident. I was staying with the Shinsengumi, only here to protect Chizuru. Everyone had been trying to befriend me, which resulted in me hiding most of the time, especially under my cloak.

I yawned as I cleaned Moeru Kage carefully. I was almost finished, so I just had to sharpen her next. While staying here, some nights had been sleepless. Just like last night. I would only get a couple hours, only to wake myself up in a panic, one time screaming.

That night when I had screamed, everyone had rushed to my room. So, most nights when I woke up, I had to clamp my hands over my mouth until my breathing returned to its normal pace.

I flinched as I cut myself on Moeru Kage. I put my finger to my mouth as blood dripped from the cut slowly. The cut vanished quickly, so I proceeded with what I was doing.

A knock sounded on my door. I grabbed the sharpening stone beside me as I raised my voice and called out to the visitor, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal a very unusual visitor. Souji Okita. Most times, Chizuru would come. Sometimes Sano and Shinpachi would come together to see how I was, but that was about it. But Souji...

"What a surprise," I mused. Souji had a smirk on his face, one that I was now accustomed to. He sat in front of me as I worked, sharpening my sword.

"I was bored so I came to see what you were doing."

I raised a brow, not looking directly at him. I was in casual attire today; a simple black kimono which was not too bulky and easy to move it, thankfully. My white scarf was also on me, one thing I would not part with easily. I asked curiously, "And why would that be? I am sure you would have a lot more fun with the others than me."

Souji laughed. While staying here, I did not interact with everyone much. The only person I talked to was Chizuru, sometimes Sano and Shinpachi. I avoided everyone else as much as possible. I did not trust them, a lot, and I was not going to anytime soon. I was slowly, but it was very slow.

"You look so much like Hajime-kun at the moment. Black kimono, white scarf, both of you are left-handed users...You two must be twins."

I ignored him as I continued.

"But, you're a mystery in the shinsengumi. You never show yourself, and when anyone does see you, it's when you're alone or with Chizuru. And Chizuru doesn't talk much about what you two do."

I stopped, placing Moeru Kage gently to the side. I looked at him as I said, "If you want any important information, you will not be getting it. Yes, I talk to Chizuru. And I am not stupid. I know that she told you what I said about Kazuma when we were talking alone. I do not blame her, she may be worried about me but she has no reason to."

Souji raised an eyebrow at me now before he laughed. "You pay much more attention than I though you did."

I scoffed. "Of course I do." I narrowed my eyes at him. "After all, I do not trust any of you."

"Even Chizuru?" He asked with a smirk. My eyes widened slightly. I did not expect that. I regained my composure as I picked my sword up and went back to sharpening it.

"Not even Chizuru," I replied honestly. "It is hard to explain. I do not know how to react..."

"Because...Maybe, because you are experiencing a new type of emotion?" I nodded my head very slowly, focusing on the blade in front of me. A blade of darkness that burned brighter and hotter than any flame.

"I guess that's understandable from what I've heard. As I've heard, you lost the ability to trust and accept people." I nodded again. All the captains knew of it, so I didn't bother hiding it. They knew that I would not trust them, I would not reply on them. They still tried, yet failed.

"Are you here for a history lesson, cause I am not interested. I rather be alone."

"Of course. Well, I guess I'll be going then." Souji got up and walked to the door. He opened it, but before he left, he said, "If you don't try learning to trust us, then what do you think will happen to you?" He closed the door and walked away.

I sighed as I shakily put down my blade. Deep, deep, deep down, I knew that I had to start opening up. This was at the very bottom, and it stretched on for millions of miles. It would take a long time, and that was what I feared most.

After I had learned to trust after such a long time, it would only be broken again. That was what I feared. And if I became my old self, it would be stripped away once and for all. That was my biggest fear.

I placed a hand over my face as I let out a choked sob. One that called for help.

~

I sat on the bench as I watched the sakura trees with Chizuru. We had been here for a few minutes, a pleasant silence between us.

"Tsukino-chan, Okita-san came to me before..." Chizuru sounded nervous. I sighed quite loudly as I looked at her from the corner of my eye.

"Chizuru, I do not want you feeling offended. What I meant before to him... I find this whole entire situation new. And I do not know what to do. I find things that you find normal or easy hard. Extremely hard. Impossible."

"Then please, trust us," Chizuru begged. I faced her fully now, my eyes most probably filled with guilt.

"I cannot," I replied softly. "But know, I am willing to try, for both you and me."

Chizuru smiled softly, which I returned back. I looked at the sky, which was getting darker and darker. Susumu Yamazaki, the ninja and an Intelligence Agent, called for us and told us to go to the usual meeting room. I looked at Chizuru, who looked back at me.

"May I go change out of this and then meet up with you?" I asked. Chizuru nodded as I quickly ran to my room, going to get changed and grab my two swords.

After I changed into my regular attire, I grabbed my cloak and pulled it over me. I then quickly weaved through the shadows, making my way to the room.

I knocked on the door and heard someone call me in. I opened the door and walked in, not bothering to get on my knees and do all that stuff they did. No, I would not let them think they had authority over me.

Looking around the room, I saw a new face. I frowned under the cloak and looked straight at Souji. He seemed to know I was frowning and grinned at me. The person before us was known as Hajime. I frowned even more as I soon understood what Souji meant by us being twins.

As walking past him, I hit him over the head and mumbled loud enough so he could hear, "Bastard." The others saw it while Souji rubbed the spot I had hit. He was in the corner of the room, so I stood next to him.

I knew about his sickness. I felt sorry for him, but I would never say it. I watched as the meeting commenced.

While Kondo told us all that Hajime had gone undercover, the said man looked at me for a while. When he got the chance to speak, he said, "In terms of the Eto faction's movement, they are clearly trending towards aggressive actions against the Shinsengumi. And..."

Hajime looked at me, which made everyone look at me. Kondo laughed as he said, "Oh, that's right. Right after you left, Tsukino joined us."

"I would not say I joined you," I replied sharply. Kondo sighed as I said, "I am here to protect Chizuru."

I pulled off the cloak, revealing my gold eyes and black hair before I hid it again. I rather get my appearance over and done with, so that this conversation would continue, which it did.

Itou, who I did not know of, was planning to kill Kondo. I did not like that sound of that, even if I did not like everyone here. Kondo had been nice to me, and slowly, a soft spot was beginning to form. And that Heisuke, the boy from the inn, was to be killed if he got in the way.

Only Souji, Chizuru, Hajime and I were left. I walked over to Chizuru, who was by the door and bent down. I said softly, "Do not worry, Chizuru. It will be fine." I then left, heading towards my room.

*Edited 24/9/18*