* 1 week later *
There is a new girl at out school, her name is Sierra. Nash has seemed to put an interest to her, I'm positive they have a mutual feeling. Ever since I told Nash about how my mom feels about him, he has been distant with me.."So i plopped into the pool and-" I stopped speaking when I noticed he wasn't paying attention to me, he was staring at her. I was beyond jealous at this point. Nash and I are best friends nothing more, even after we made out.
I looked at his eyes, I've never seen them so bright. He looked at her the way I wanted him to look at me.Nash had been getting better, no more new scars I see, he's been a lot happier and outgoing all because of me not her.
Whoa Bella calm down.
"Bye." I whispered and walked away from him, I looked back at him he was still unaware I left.
I honestly like the quiet shy Nash better, I'm being selfish about this. I want the best for him, this is best.
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"Hey Nash." I greeted"Can I come over?" I asked
"Um.. Actually Sierra was coming over."
I felt anger boil inside of me. Are you fucking serious your going to turn me down for a girl you just met. I looked down at my balled up fists
"Oh okay I understand." I lied and walked off.
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*at Bella's house*
I laid on my bed overthinking about Nash. What are they doing right now. What if they are hooking up. What if they are going to date soon. I had to mentally slap myself to come back to reality.I decided to go for a walk. "Mom
I'm going out!" I yelled"Not to Nash's house right?"
"No." I groaned. Ever since I got caught at Nash's house she's been acting like this. She doesn't even know him and she dislikes him. She doesn't understand everything we helped each other though.
I walked down to the park and took a seat on the bench. I closed my eyes and felt the light breeze blow against my face, the sound of the birds chirping and leaves rumbling down the street.
"Hey Bella." A voice yelled from down the street. My eyes shot open and adjusted to see Nash and Sierra walking toward my side by side.
I groaned and sat up with a fake smile."Hey." I said blandly as they took a seat next to me.
"Nash is great you know." She giggled annoyingly.
"No I didn't know that." I say sarcastically.
Nash shot me a 'cut it out' look.
"So how are you guys?" I acted like I cared.
"Good good." They spoke.
"Nash was telling me how nice you are, your mom and dad must love you."
"My dad is dead and my mom probably hates me." I mumbled.
"Excuse me?" She asked
"Nothing." Could this get anymore awkward.
"Well." I stood up and turned my body toward them.
"I'm gonna get going." I did a small wave and walked off.
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I ended up back in my room, once again. I stared at the ceiling until my phone vibrated."Hello?"
"Hey Bella come over please."
"I thought your hanging out with Sierra." I spat.
"She left, I need you here now."
"No maybe you should ask Sierra to help you." I hung up.
NASHS POV
Sierra had left. I like Sierra but not like that, she's really pretty and all but not my type, Bella is. I realized how much of a jerk I was today. Now Bella is mad at me, she hates me. I hate myself. A tear drop rolled down my cheek. I decided To go on vine, I saw posts about me. Why are they still making fun of me. Every single word I heard them say, I believed.
I closed the app and cried.
Then I had flashbacks and memories to all the bad things that had occurred in my life, I began to sob.
I decided to text her.
N- please come Bella please.
I had stopped taking my anti-depressants and now I'm sad. I stopped because I was getting better. But now everything is crashing down. I stared at the bottle of pills across the room.
"Bella hates me" I choked
"Oh my god." I sobbed
"My mother thinks I'm worthless."
"Everyone wants me dead."
"And most of all." I paused "I hate myself."
I walked across the room and snatched the bottle of pills from its location. I poured out the components into my hand.
"Third times a charm."
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