How I fooled my foolish heart

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"N-Natsu...." I heard Lisanna lowly mutter and she hiccupped, her face covered in tears.

"I told you to get out of my house." This has probably the 50th time I told her to get out already and she's starting to get in my nerves.

She has been visiting every day for the past month.

"You still haven't eaten much, Natsu... I'm concerned!" Lisanna squeaked as I turn to glare at her.

"I'm just really concerned! At least let me be concerned about you." She sniffed and I went back to staring outside my window.

I'm back to my parent's house.

I can go back to the way I used to be.

My mom is slowly opening up to me.

Wendy started talking to me, again.

It can go back to way it used to be.

It's just that...

Something's missing.

Someone's missing...

She's missing.

I never thought that losing her was going to be this heavy.

I've always thought that it's going to be a relief and breathable not having her here.

I'm even having hallucinations seeing her.

Side effects from probably missing her too much.

But, that's okay for me. At least, I get to see her.

Especially seeing her- smiling.

The last time I saw her, she was crying...

She's crying and I'd burn to hell, if I say that I didn't feel the heaviness of her pain.

She was crying.

Her face filled with tears as she said those painful words.

I...

I really messed up.

That girl.

I'm hopelessly in love with her.

"Just go away. Please." I pled.

"Natsu! Get your self toget-" She suddenly gasped and stepped forward, touching my right cheek.

"You're crying... again." Her voice breaks and sure enough, tears just kept pouring.

"Just go away." I breathed out in finality and her fingers shook, but slowly- she withdrew it.

I heard footsteps slowly walking away and I kept staring out the window, biting my lower lips to avoid sobbing.

Since when did I turn into such a crybaby?

"Nii-san." I heard Wendy call from outside my door and I wiped my tears away then looked at her.

She was holding a tray with food and I can only imagine myself staring at her blankly.

She gave me a small smile and briefly said, "Here. Eat."

I nodded without hesitation and grabbed the food she carried for me.

Laying the tray on one of my bedside table, I grabbed a bowl silently and muttered a soft 'itadakimasu' and ate a small amount of rice.

I started taking in small portions of rice while Wendy just stood outside my door quietly.