Clouded Soul

18

A week and some days went by and my plan from Sunday was working. Marcus and I never talk about what happened. It's fine. I tell Dominic 'no' whenever he tries to kiss me or touch me sexually. He still makes freaky comments, but I can ignore it.

It was easier to focus in school and I felt better, but I still felt guilty. There was no space for guilt when I have tons of school work to do and study.

"Hey Mer," Isaiah said walking beside me as I was on my way to Mr Bush's class.

"Hey Zay. What's up," I ask.

"Let's skip and go to the movies," he said giving me a boyish smile.

I shook my head at him.

"No. I have to be in school. Take Rena or China with you."

He groaned and grabbed my arm pulling me over towards the lockers.

"I need help Mercy! You're like the only person who's I feel like I should trust with this information. Just come on," he says pouting like a baby.

"Isaiah what could I possibly help you with?"

"I...I think I got a girl pregnant."

I stared at Isaiah and he stared back at me. My brain was still processing what he'd just said. Did Isaiah just tell me that he impregnated a girl? I dropped my books and smacked him hard.

"Ow! Mercy why'd you hit me," he whined.

"Isaiah that's crazy. I can't believe you! I-I'm just at lost for words. That's not good. Who was it," I ask bugging my eyes at him.

People passed by staring at us funny. Honestly it didn't bother me because I was worried about Isaiah's new addition to the population. This is why you have protected sex and stay on your pills, I thought to myself. Then again this is why you don't even risk having sex period.

"We can't talk here. That's why we need to go," he said.

...

Isaiah held my legs on his lap as we sat on his couch. His little sister Amari ran around the house, evading his mom who was taking everyone else to the doctor.

I was still waiting on him to tell me what happened but he was stalling on his game.

"You wanna play," he asked smiling.

"Isaiah if you don't tell me what happened I'll smack you again," I threatened.

"Fine damn, Mama," he said tossing the controller onto the coffee table. He had to get comfortable before he started talking like he was going to tell me an hour long story or something.

"So when it was D's birthday, I went with Rebecca to the party. So after that game I was talking to Rebecca spitting some game and she fell for it of course. Next thing you know, we're back at mines fucking and I forget all about a rubber. I bust a big one in her and she don't say shit so I don't and then today she comes to me saying she's late on her period. I'm just praying the bitch got her days mixed up," he says scratching his head.

"Wow. Did she say what she'd do if she really is pregnant?"

"No but she better abort that shit. I don't have any money for child support and I only fucked with her because she has a fat ass for a white girl."

I kiss my teeth. Isaiah was just being stupid now. This is probably why everyone so hard on him — he's reckless. If he thought I was going to support him, he had life messed up because I was about to be on his case.

"No. That's still murder because that's a growing living thing inside of someone and you can't just kill it because you fucked up. The hell is wrong with you, Isaiah?"

He sighed and ran a hand down his face shrugging at me. I stood up and grabbed my bag.

"I'm done here. You better figure something out." I got up angrily throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Mercy come on don't do that. I can't tell anyone else so you're the only person I can go to for help."

I stare at him for a while. How was I even going to give him good advice when I've never been in a situation like this before? This was his mess anyways.

"If that baby dies on it's own or because Rebecca does something...then fine, but abortion isn't a suggestion. Don't even mention abortion to Rebecca. Maybe this will teach you a lesson and allow you to grow up."

He frowned but didn't say anything. I didn't expect him to. This was his fault. I sat back down and placed my bag back by my feet sighing.

"You should call Dominic and Marcus so that they know we're here," I say, sitting back down.

"A'ight," he said getting up.

As he walked out, I grabbed his controller. It's been a while since I've played a video game and I wasn't just going to be over here and not have a little fun.

...

Dominic was on the couch knocked out while me, Isaiah, and Marcus watched Afro Samurai. I laid on the floor next to Isaiah instead of Marcus because I thought it'd be kind of awkward.

"So why'd you two skip," Marcus asked randomly.

Isaiah looked at me and I rolled my eyes. He expected me to come up with a fake story I suppose. Instead of telling the truth I said, "I wasn't feeling good and Isaiah was skipping anyways so we came here and played Metal Gear IV until you guys showed up."

"Oh okay," he said, his eyes lingering on me for a second too long.

I looked back towards the tv and tried to not look back over at him again. I could feel the atmosphere change the longer I laid down trying to avoid looking at him. Maybe if I left the room and came back it'd be okay.

"Zay, where's your bathroom?"

"Down the hall two doors to the right," he said.

I got up and walked off. When I got in the bathroom I just fixed my hair and went back into the living room. Despite my really good plan, the awkwardness was still there. Marcus's eyes were on me the moment I came back. Sighing, I just sit down by Isaiah and keep watching.

Almost half and hour later Isaiah comes of with the great idea of leaving to go make us snacks.

"I'll make tacos," he said licking his lips.

I couldn't even tell if he was being nasty or just hungry.

"Um...Zay?"

He turned and looked at me cocking his eyebrow. I tried to give him a look that said 'please stay dammit' but he wasn't getting it.

"Can I help," I ask hopefully.

He kissed his teeth and

"Nope. You're a guest so I gotta cook for you. Relax it won't even take that long," he said leaving me no time to argue.

As soon as he left, I looked over and two brown eyes were staring back at me.