Chemistry - A Sander's Sides Fanfiction

- 20 -

Roman felt like he was living in a dream. There's no way this is really happening, he told himself in disbelief. He was sitting there, still leaning his back up against the wall and loosely holding onto Virgil's hand -- just as he had been ten minutes ago when Logan and Patton left them.

He could hear Virgil breathing deeply from where he was laying on Roman's shoulder. It was so relaxing to know that the boy was there, calm after his near-breakdown. Every time Virgil would get overwhelmed, Roman would be filled with this intense feeling of protectiveness -- like he couldn't bear it to know that his friend was struggling. Luckily, he had found ways to help reduce Virgil's anxiety, and that was a relief.

As much as Roman was enjoying sitting there, he needed to clear his head. He sighed, taking his head away from Virgil's. The boy looked so peaceful. "Virgil," Roman whispered, lightly shaking his friend. "I have to go to the bathroom." He nudged Virgil again.

The boy's eyes fluttered open. Roman had never noticed how long his dark eyelashes were. "What?" he asked hoarsely, barely with any power behind his voice.

Roman smiled softly and untangled his hand from Virgil's. "I'm gonna have to ask you to get up for a second. I need to find the bathroom."

Virgil picked his head up groggily. "Yeah okay, sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked like he had actually been asleep.

"I'll be back," Roman assured him, standing up. His legs wobbled for a second underneath him and he took a deep, shaky breath. With a small smile directed at Virgil, Roman walked off towards the front gates.

He felt like he was walking on clouds. His whole head felt foggy, like it was filled with cotton, and his hands were tingly. He noticed his heart was flitting with leftover adrenaline, like he had just finished a race or a big game. Roman found that he couldn't stop himself from letting out a fluttery laugh as he approached the bathrooms. Had the last half hour really taken place?

When he arrived at the bathrooms -- a beige-colored, tile-floored building lit dimly with fluorescent lights -- Roman immediately walked over to one of the ceramic sinks and supported himself against it. He stared into the rectangular mirror, trying to collect his thoughts.

He had felt so perfect with Virgil -- like there was nowhere else he'd rather be. Yet simply holding hands with the boy terrified him like no class presentation or play ever could. Whenever he touched Virgil or sometimes even just looked at him, Roman found himself filled with some sickly sweet, addictive twist on performance anxiety. Though he recognized the feeling, it had been a long time since he'd actually liked it. He knew that sort of feeling didn't end well -- at least for him, and at least not the last couple of times.

Roman was definitely adventurous and usually very romantic, but at the moment -- especially after the summer -- he wasn't feeling very eager to pursue either. He smoothed out his hair and took a deep breath. Nothing's happened so far, he told himself, trying to get a hold of everything. I mean, it's not like I like him, right?

"No," Roman said quietly, shaking his head. Was he in denial? Maybe, but there was nothing to prove that.

Sure, he was friends with Virgil. They got along well, had the same sense of humor, and had the same friend group. But their similar interests were limited. Virgil was a recluse and Roman was an extrovert. Roman loved theater, lighthearted things, and social activities. Virgil liked quiet things, dark stories and conspiracies, and spent most of his time on the internet. They weren't opposites, per se, but they were far from carbon copies. They got along fine but they weren't bound to click that well, right?

Roman sighed and wiped his face. After a couple more moments of staring at his reflection, he left the bathroom and started back across the concrete and grass. Not very many people were around the art building -- at least the back of it. Most everyone was either on the main walkway or at the rides, so the area behind the building was pretty secluded. Plus, a high bush blocked Roman's view of Virgil, so from where he stood, it nearly looked like no one was there at all.