Eli

Prologue

Crack Baby

noun

The definition of a crack baby is an infant born to a women who used crack cocaine during the course of her pregnancy.

That was me.

The crackhead that birthed me or my mom even though she didn't deserve to be called that was a hardcore drug addict according to my brother Vinny. He was 19 and left home at 16 but recognized our mom when she walked on his corner trying to score her next high. He saw she was pregnant and stepped in. Somehow he convinced her to get clean and turn her life around and for the duration of her pregnancy she was clean.

The doctors weren't sure if I would even make it to full term but I did. They also weren't sure what types of problems I would have. If I would be deformed or have some kind of learning disabilities. Everyone was surprised when she gave birth to me, a healthy baby girl. She named me Elizabeth Rose Washington, and that was about all she did for me because the next day she was gone.

They had plans to put me up for adoption or foster care but Vinny stepped in and got custody of me. He didn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby but at only 19 he took on the responsibility of caring and raising me.

Growing up I was just as smart and capable as any other kid. I didn't have no mom or grandma and like some kids wasn't fortunate enough to have my dad but I never felt like I was missing out. My brother was all of those things to me. I idolized him, walked like him, talked like him, and dressed like him. He let me be and never pressed me to do, wear or be anything I didn't want to. 

I was a sweet girl and even though I was a tomboy and kids got the wrong idea about me growing up I was just like any other girl. I dreamed fantasized about boys, college, getting married and having kids, all that. That was until April of 2012 when my brother was killed and after that all of those dreams just didn't seem as important anymore.