Shattered Heart

Part 28 ~ A Thousand Miles Away

~ Jordyn's point of view ~ 

I had to leave.

I couldn't take Keisha's mean words for much longer. I hate her so much. I hate everyone at this school except Michael. Why are people so horrible? . . what the hell is wrong with them? all I want is to be with Michael . . but I guess that's not going to happen. 

Keisha will never let me be with Michael. 

Never.

I can tell that she still loves him an awful lot . . which tears me apart! . . why does she have to be so darn pretty? . . and why do I have to be so darn fat?! . . I have no self-esteem whatsoever . . especially not now after the things Keisha said. 

I was doing somewhat ok and then it all came crashing down again when I heard the mean stuff she was saying. It felt like the comfortable bubble I was living in bursted right then and there.

I didn't want to leave Michael there but I had no choice but to leave. Tears were forming in my eyes and the last thing I wanted was for THEM to see me cry. It's what they want . . they want to see me cry . . but I'm not going to let them. 

I run inside my house and hurry upstairs. I'm not in the mood to explain to my mother why I'm crying. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone at this point. I'm too heartbroken over what happened at the park.

Michael was so incredibly sweet for wanting to tell them about us . . but I knew it would go south. I knew it wouldn't end well . . poor Michael . . I'm sure they're making fun of him now. I love him so much . . the last thing I want is for him to feel bad.

His granddad passed away today . . I wanted to hang out with him to make him feel better . . to distract him . . and what happened? . . I made it all worse . . like I always do. 

I can't be with Michael anymore . . . 

I love him too much . . .

I want him to be happy . . .

and the truth is . . . we can't be happy together.

As much as I want to be with him, it's just not possible . . not with these horrible people at school. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make them all go away . . but I know that's not going to happen . . unfortunately.

I take off my clothes and change into my night shirt and panties. What's the point of staying up? . . I don't wanna be reminded of this horrible evening . . I wanna go to sleep and forget today even happened. 

I make myself comfortable in bed and close my eyes. 

About 20 minutes later my bedroom door opens. 

"Jordyn? . . pumpkin? are you still awake?"

I slowly turn around to face the door. "Mom? . . yes, I'm still awake, why?"

. . . . .

"Michael is here"

I feel my heart literally dropping down to my stomach. OH, GOD. I sit up and fix my hair as good as I can . . he's really here? . . I look like a complete mess! Mom steps aside . . Michael walks into my room with a shy smile on his face.

"Oh . . I didn't know you were going to bed already . . do you want me to leave?"

"No . . no, not at all . . I was just . . I was tired, so . . I took a nap"

"It's only 8pm . . are you alright, Jordyn? I know you're hurt by what happened at the park and I'm terribly sorry about it"

"It's ok, Michael . . it wasn't your fault . . the things Keisha said really hurt me . . I'm sorry for leaving but I just couldn't take it anymore"

"May . . may I lay down on your bed with you?" Michael asks.

UGH.

Can he be any more adorable?

"Of course!"

He lays down next to me. I rest my head on his shoulder and take in a deep breath. I feel so much better now that he is here. I can feel the open wounds in my heart healing, piece by piece.

"I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time, Jordyn"

"You don't have be sorry, Michael . . it's not your fault"

. . . . .

"Can . . can I kiss you?" He asks.

GOD. I totally melt away at this words. 

"Yes . . yes, of course"

Michael slowly and carefully gets on top of me and we start kissing each other. My feelings for him are growing every time we kiss each other. There is nothing I can do . . my heart literally beats for him.

For no one else. 

Not even for myself. 

"I really like you, Jordyn . . I'm sorry for everything I have done" He says, seeming to be in deep thought about something. 

"It's ok, Michael" I answer, being in deep thought myself.

My world is dark . . the trees and all the flowers are sad and all the butterflies have broken wings.  That's how I feel right now . . when you love someone more than they deserve, surely they will hurt you more than you deserve . . I guess.

I'm not saying Michael doesn't deserve to be loved by me . . what I'm trying to say is that I'm stupid for loving someone I can never have. He might be right here with me now . . kissing me and holding me . . but . . it feels as though he's a thousand miles away.

To be continued . . . 

short part, I know. . sorry about that . . but I wanted to get a new part out before I leave my house. Love you, guys! expect a new part to be published very soon! xxx