I Just Wanna

Chasing time

BEA POV

Getting the realization and accepting my mistake, i find Mom the next day.

She was at the table with dad and they are both reading some newspapers.

"Good morning Dad.. Mom." Bati ko saka humalik sa pingi ng mga ito.

"Morning too. No training?" Dad

"None." Maikling sagot ko saka lumingon kay Mom na halatang galit pa rin sakin dahil wala akong nakuhang response rito.

"Sorry for what i acted last night. I know you were doing things for the sake of me. You want the best for your daughter and i didnt see it last night." I said.

Lumingon silang dalawa. Dad put down his newpaper while Mom just took a glance from me.

"I love Jho. So much that all the things i do now is for the sake of her. But last night, you made me realize na hindi sa lahat ng oras, ganun dapat. I should think of myself. I should value myself more than anybody else even if shes the love of my life." I continued.

Napakagat labi ako saka yumuko. "The truth is...i wanted to say No. I wanted to get out of the team. Get out from the restrictions. I hate putting some ropes in my neck. I hate being said what to do and what's not.

I want Jho to atleast fight for me.

I want Jho to get out of her comfort zone and show herself to the world.

I want Jho to say the world that shes mine.

Even if thats meant to getting out of the team."

I sighed. "But what i can do? She had to play for the school so she can study free. She has big goals. And to get them is to stay with the team."

"Im just Bea De Leon. Nothing she can be proud off."

This is the first time that i lose my confidence in myself. That no matter what i do, walang mararating. Walang panlaban.

"Anak.." Dad called.

"Besides you and my bestfriends, shes the best person that i ever had. She made me feel a thousand of emotions in just a blink of an eye. She made me fragile and vulnerable.

But despite of those things, i still love her. And i am willing to wait for how long she wanted if in the end, we will be together."

"Its not bad to feel those but you have to give a little for yourself. Kahit 1% lang. Magtira ka para sa sarili mo, Beatriz." Mom finally talked.

"I know.."

"Im just afraid that you will get hurt in the end. Hindi ko kabisado si Jho. Pero sa nakikita ko at sa mga napansin ko. Kayang kaya ka niyang saktan at wala ka man lang gagawin. Hindi naman kita pinalaki at binuhay para saktan lang ng kung sinong tao. I want you to be happy. And when you choose, please choose what makes you happy. In every decision you make, choose happiness. Dahil paano mo matatapos ang isang gawain kung hindi naman iyon ang nagpapasaya sayo?"

Natigilan naman ako roon.

Shes right. Shes always right.