"Ooh...an' you've gotta try the chicken sandwich too...it's to die for! Don't try the tuna salad though. That's expired, I believe!" Ivy gave away her invaluable knowledge about the food in the vending machines at the hospital as the couple gathered snacks for the rest of the gang one afternoon. "Spent many a lunch breaks at the vendin machines ere, didntcha?" Campbell teased, peeking at her over the mountain of Dorito packets and candy bars which weighed him down. "Love, I'm not made outta money, ya know? I might need a few o' those coins later. What if Fergus wants one to use it to loosen a screw or somethin? I've heard o' people usin those fancy tricks when they haven't got a screwdriver in hand." he reprimanded, hesitant as he felt her shove her hands deep into his pockets, foraging about them for more coins to feed into the machine. "Rubbish! Ooh, Milk Duds!" she exclaimed delightfully on hearing a familiar jingle as she emptied her husband's pockets of the last of the shiny currency, proceeding to feed it into the machine and claim her prize. He dared not stop her. He knew this was a result of the sudden hunger pangs and cravings that turned his pregnant wife into a frenzied foodie! "Gobstoppers...oh, goody..gotta have those too! Licorice too! Ere, hold these, love." he heard her cry out ecstatically, before she added to the food pile. "I think that's enough snacks for now." he finally put an end to it, before feeling a heavy hand rest on his shoulder and a familiar voice accuse- "Campbell Bain...ya crook. What're ya doin, lootin the vendin machines now?"
"Stuart? What're ya doin ere?" Campbell turned around and greeted with a toothy grin. "I work ere." the creepy orderly (who still preferred those Metalhead tees over a proper uniform) revealed, scowling at him. "Still an orderly?" Campbell mocked."Atleast I've a job! Last I heard, ya got fired from yers. Besides, I just got promoted from the ground floor up to ere. What's with all the food?" a boisterous Stuart was quick with a comeback, before turning his attention to the foodstuff in the former inmate's hands. "My close relative's gettin discharged. She just recovered from anorexia, so we're...uh, celebratin!" Campbell lied, deciding it was best not to tell the untrustworthy orderly about the radio station, lest he conveyed the news to the scary administrator.
"Scuse me...sorry to interrupt the reunion, but are ya the same Stuart who harassed my sweet Cami all those years ago?" Ivy interjected, looking him up and down coldly as she spoke. "Uh...yes, ma'am...but I was just doin my job, ma'am." he defended his actions as she inched closer. She'd heard he'd been rather insensitive and rough with the poor patients during his time at St. Jude's and that was something that the kindly woman just didn't tolerate! "Well, listen ere, big shot! I don't care if ya were doin yer job, but that was a really, really mean thing to do. I hope yer more appreciative o' the inmates' feelins now, cuz I'll be watchin! Gimme those, Cami! I'm late for work." she warned, prodding at his chest with an accusing finger and making him flinch as she brought her face close to his till he could feel her hot, fuming breath on his skin and her eyes glaring straight into his soul! Campbell couldn't believe his eyes. Stupid Stuart was finally getting what he deserved- a threat of a lifetime! Stunned, Stuart watched as she left in a huff with her bags of Doritos and her sweet treats, his legs turning to jelly themselves!
"That's the missus, by the way. She works ere. Two months pregnant, but hardly takes a break though I insist on it. Mood swings, ya know? Well, gotta go, ol boy! It's snack time!" Campbell introduced with a grin, getting cheeky on seeing the orderly's reaction to Ivy's threat. He'd rather enjoyed that, unable to control his snickering as he returned to the radio station. Stuart stood as still and as pale as a white marble statue, long after he'd left, still spooked out by what'd just happened!
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Takin Over the Asylum once more!Fanfiction
20 yrs later, Campbell Bain is happily settled. Workin for BBC radio, married to his dream girl and a father to cheery troublemakin twins, he couldn't be happier. That is, until his manic depression relapses an' he's sacked from his job. He's forced...