He sighed, sitting in the teacher's lounge while his trusty companion hovered over him, proving distracting as he graded papers. He hated this part of the job since it involved busting out his reading glasses which made him look like a geek. Not that he minded being the geeky one, but they also made him look older than his years, but they sure did protect his eyes from the strain of going through the heap of bad handwriting and worse answers! Occasionally, he'd find a blank paper or a nasty comment at the end of the page on how boring he was or about the youths' thoughts on how irrelevant radio was in the modern world. That felt like a real hard slap on his peachy cheeks! And after he was done grading, a load of incomplete paperwork still remained.
"I could write that for ya. I write all their reports too, ya know? I may be mental, but I'm also the brains around ere, Mr. B." Kris proved useful, priding herself to be the brains of the class as she sat cross legged atop the desk in her colourful overalls and bright, neon converse. "Have at it! I'd take writin scripts for radio shows o'er this any day!" Campbell thanked profusely, pushing the papers over to her and giving her custody of them with a sigh of relief. "In fact, I believe radio show scripts are the only things I've ever written. Well, those...an' love letters to the wife...who was, of course, the girlfriend back then...ooh, I'm ramblin again! Bollocks! Ya know what time it is when I start doin that!" Campbell reminisced, before pulling out the little container with his medication in it, rattling the pills inside on realizing he'd begun his ramblings once more. "That's alright, Mr. B. I like it when ya ramble. Feels like I've met someone who I can relate to, ya know?" his understanding student confessed with a grin, browsing through the pages as she spoke. "I wish ya weren't the only one who felt that way towards me though." she tsk-tsked like a grown-up on hearing him mutter under his breath.
"Tell ya what...You've gotta be one o' em. I can see it's buggin ya that they don't pay attention to ya, that ya can't get through to em. Well, how bout ya act like em, ya know? Grab their attention!" she exclaimed, surely grabbing his attention as she jumped off the desk suddenly! "What...wear baggy chinos an' Metalhead tees? An' say stuff like dude an' brah...? I dunno if I can manage that, lass!" Campbell retorted, amused by the thought of showing swag in front of the new generation. "No. Be yerself. 'Cept...don't be yerself!" she tried to explain. "You've lost me, lass." Campbell whispered apologetically, raising his eyebrows in confusion.
"Be the ol Campbell Bain. The one we heard ramble on the radio all the time. I heard so much bout ya from my aunt. Remember that pixie haired girl with a crush on ya? That was er! She said ya were quite the showstopper back then, not so soft spoken or timid as ya are now. Quite wild, an' apparently ya made headlines when ya locked yerself up in the radio station once!" Kris reminded, finding his old adventures at St. Jude's quite thrilling. "Aye...I had to be sedated for that! Ya done with those, by the way?" Campbell agreed, smiling at the thought, before requesting her to return the papers to him once she was done.
He pondered over her strange idea as he walked home later with his briefcase tucked under his arm. Home- that was the other place aside from the radio station where he really felt comfortable in his own skin and where he wasn't talked about behind his back. He could hear mischievous giggles on the other side of the door as he prepared to ring the doorbell and announce his arrival. He grinned at the thought of his wife struggling to pipe his impish kids down while simultaneously cooking dinner. She was brilliant at only one of those tasks...an' it wasn't cooking dinner! From the smell emanating from the kitchen, he guessed they were having burnt lasagne for dinner tonight!
The next morning, he tried to tiptoe past in his new garb while Ivy struggled to comb and clip on a bunch of colourful, prinsessy barrettes into her unruly daughter's unruly hair. He was caught just as he approached the door and he heard her exasperated voice in the doorway behind him- "Campbell, have ya seen Lennon's 3D glasses anywhere? He doesn't like steppin out without...Campbell Bain! Did ya steal yer son's glasses?!" "Borrowed, love. It's for a class experiment. Would make a great difference if it worked out too." he explained on hearing her scold. "What are ya goin on bout? What...experiment...? Are those leather pants?!" she demanded an explanation, gesturing to his rainbow coloured, glittery tee and leather pants teamed with those 3D glasses and slick hair which made him look like a cast member of Grease! "Where'd ya get those, daddy?" Lennon chimed in, while his sister suppressed a chuckle. "I've my sources." he muttered, hiding his own embarrassment behind a boisterous tone. "Well, tell those sources not to send o'er any more clothin,love. Honestly, ya look like a retired rock star...or a retired boy band member...or a retired..." Ivy began to mock, unable to control her laughter at his weird guise. They were worse than the clothes he donned back when they dated. "I get it! Ya can tease all ya like, but I've gotta rush to class now. I'm late. Love ya, bye!" he excused himself, rolling his eyes at her mocking reaction and slamming the door behind him. "Late for what- the reunion o' the Rock o' Ages cast?! " she called out jokingly, watching him with a mixture of amusement and pity as he struggled to walk in the clinging leather pants which she was sure would cause him to break out in beads of perspiration or a possible bad rash at the end of the day!
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Takin Over the Asylum once more!Fanfiction
20 yrs later, Campbell Bain is happily settled. Workin for BBC radio, married to his dream girl and a father to cheery troublemakin twins, he couldn't be happier. That is, until his manic depression relapses an' he's sacked from his job. He's forced...