Understand Me

What am I? Chapter 27

Taehyung's POV

I kissed Jin hyung on the cheek before we left for Namjoon's room. The walk was brief and only took a second. I wasn't prepared to see him standing up trying to hobble to the door. "Joon what the hell are you doing? Get back in bed," Yoongi hyung said help him back into the bed. Namjoon hyung almost argued with him until his eyes saw the death glare that Yoongi hyung was sending him.

I smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, "Hey hyung." Namjoon smiled back at me showing off his dimples, "Hey Taehyung." Suddenly Namjoon's mood grew somber, "Where's Jin hyung?" Yoongi hyung, Jungkook hyung, and I looked at each other with the same thought. I forced a smile, "He's in his room, he's been wondering if you were alright. We told him that we were coming to see you after we got done talking to him." Namjoon hyung nodded and smiled lightly.

I hesitated slightly before asking, "What happened on the plane?" Namjoon hyung looked at me guiltily, "I honestly only remember bits and pieces. I remember leaving our seat to go to the bathroom and trying to walk back when all of a sudden the plane went into a nose dive. I flew to the front of the plane and hit the cockpit door which gave me a view of the back of the plane being ripped off. I don't know what happened after that besides waking up here with a cast on leg, a neck brace, one hell of a headache, and bruises." I nodded but didn't say anything.

I honestly thought I was going to be bitter over the fact that he got away with just these injuries while Jin hyung was in a coma right now but I already knew that if Namjoon hyung could trade places with him that he would do it in a heartbeat. I watched as Namjoon hyung and Yoongi hyung talked a bit, Namjoon hyung asked him about Hoseok hyung and Jimin hyung. I opened my mouth interrupting them, "How did the negotiation go?" Namjoon hyung looked startled but answered looking quite proud, "It went pretty well for the most part. Hyung really shut it down though, he left in the middle of one of the meetings to take a phone call and came back looking done with everyone's bullshit. One of the people from the other company were dogging him and, you guys know how he doesn't cuss that often, well he went off on them and scared them quite a bit. They would have signed that day if I hadn't gone back and smoothed it over so we could keep coming back to them."

I smiled as I thought about Jin hyung cussing someone out, but then I frowned because I have a feeling that the phone call that he had before was either with me or was because of me. Jungkook hyung subtlety touched my shoulder and shot me a curious look. I shook my head and forced a smile.

He narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything else. After listening to them talk to each other I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I walked in and locked the door with a look behind me. I looked in the mirror and scanned my features. I picked out the things that I didn't like.

My eyes were too much of an almond shape, my lips had too much of a natural pout which made me look pathetic all the time. They were a natural light pink color which made them stand out sometimes, which I really hated. Jin hyung always said that I had those lips to tempt men, he had no idea how really true that seemed. This red hair was fading, which I didn't hate, but I didn't love it either.

Instead of looking at my features one at a time I looked at my whole face. My eyes were puffy and red, my lips were slightly swollen from me biting on them. My cheeks had a pint tint and were looking sort of sunken in which made me look uglier. I wasn't exactly embarrassed of my features but I wasn't always okay with how I looked. Sometimes I look at Jin hyung or Namjoon hyung and wish I was attractive like them, but at the same time I don't mind looking the way I do. Every once in a while I could look into the mirror and find something I liked.

I closed my eyes and splashed cold water onto my face. I will looking for what would make Jungkook hyung love me or at least find me attractive. I snorted slightly at the thoughts in my mind, if only he knew how fucked up I really was he would probably run for the hills. You have to make a decision.

I clenched my fists at what Yoongi hyung said, I wanted Jungkook hyung to have someone who knew how to love themselves and others. I only knew how to do one of those things. Jin hyung always told me that I was just as special, if not more so, as every one else but I had to believe it myself. I believed, I believed that the world hates me. I believe that I'm an ungrateful bitch, and that I should move on with my life. I can't though because every time I close my eyes there's something from my past haunting me.

I'm weak and pathetic too, I just can't admit it to myself. If I can't take care of myself, what can I take care of? What am I?

Alright, now we're getting somewhere. I look forward to the next few chapters, and by the end of the next chapter after this one I hopefully will have come to a decision of whether or not this will have another book. Hope you enjoy because honestly this chapter held almost personal opinions of myself in here so... yeah. On that depressing note, have a good day/night. PEACE