Understand Me

Together Chapter 19

Taehyung stalked up the stairs slowly. His vision was starting to blur from tears and he was tripping over the stairs. Finally when he got to the landing he dropped behind the banister and put his head in his lap. He harshly wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand. The tears were just replaced with new ones and he didn't know what to do so he blinked them away and stood up. "Get over yourself," Taehyung muttered to himself. He walked into his room and sat on his bed.

He struggled with the temptation to call Jin even though he already knew what Jin would say. 'You can call me at anytime.' As Taehyung thought about calling Jin his hand subconsciously moved to grab his phone from his pocket. There was a lingering thought in his head every time he wanted to call Jin. He thought about how every time something went wrong Jin was the first person he ran to and he dumped all of his problems onto, without any thought.

"How selfish can I possibly get," Taehyung said and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He hit Jin's number which was on speed dial and put the phone on speaker. "Hello," Jin's voice said. "Hey, hyung," Taehyung said feeling better already. "You okay? You almost never call me, that could be because you're never without me but never mind that. What's up," Jin rambled.

"Hyung, do you ever feel like nothing is okay even though every thing seems to be okay?"

Jin Perspective

Jin pondered the question even though he really didn't have to. "Yeah, but that feeling goes away every time I'm reassured that you're okay." There was a sigh from Taehyung, "What do I have to be thankful for?" Jin tilted his head in thought. Even though Taehyung didn't know it Jin was supposed to be in a meeting, and Jin was so glad that he didn't have to be in the conference room right now. Namjoon was pissed and that was a sight that while it did scare him, it also turned him on and he really didn't feel like sporting a boner.

"It depends on how you think about every thing. For example, you could be thankful for me, but it depends on how you see me. You could be thankful because you feel like I take care of you or you could be bitter because I'm taking care of you because you're parents won't. It just depends on perspective. If you're looking for me to scold you because you feel like you need to be more thankful, you're not going to get that from me," Jin paused and took a deep breath. "Taehyung, listen to me. You have been through a lot, let yourself feel hurt and pain because I promise you won't ever feel better by just ignoring it," Jin said.

There was a broken sob from the other line and Jin knew he had Taehyung. "Sweetheart, when you are able to accept that you are a good person and that you deserve to be loved I promise that most things that you fear will become obstacles of the past. Until then Jungkook and I will be with you and help you with anything we can, we'll get through what happens together." There was a harder sob that came, and right after Taehyung started blubbering, "Y-you don-don't un-understand, he's d-dead and I-I don't feel bad a-and I'm a bad p-person.

"Who's dead," Jin asked. "My d-dad! He's dead and I don't feel bad about it." Jin sighed, "Baby, you can't say you're a bad person because he's dead and you're not hurt. Let me ask you this: are you glad that he's dead?" Taehyung yelled, "NO! That would be horr-horrible." 

"Then why do you feel bad because you're not hurt over his death. There's nothing wrong with not feeling hurt over someone's death, but there is an issue when you're glad that they are dead. I can't tell you how to feel about yourself, but I can tell you that to me you are perfectly imperfect and you shouldn't even have the thought cross your mind that there is something wrong with you. At the end of the day if everyone else hates you, Jungkook and I will love you more than you could ever know."

Thanks so much for 1.2K reads! I really appreciate it because this book is my first book and I'm happy that most of you like it.