Understand Me

Decisions Chapter 25

Taehyung's tears had finally stopped, but ever once in a while there was a hiccup or sniffle. Yoongi sat with his back to the ledge and Taehyung between his legs. He gently ran his fingers through Taehyung's hair. "Have you ever been scared that Jimin hyung and Hoseok hyung would leave you," Taehyung asked with a raspy voice. Yoongi put his chin on Taehyung's head and sighed, "Yeah, I still am. Why? Are you afraid of Jungkook leaving you?" Taehyung nodded and shifted slightly.

Yoongi let out a puff of air and wrapped his arms around Taehyung's waist tightly, "I'm going to tell you a story. I didn't always have as much swag as I do now." Taehyung laughed silently and pushed into Yoongi's chest. "I wasn't always as happy as I am now. One day I was sitting in my room I had poured gasoline all over my bed and I was playing with a lighter. I had taken a good bit of pills before then and honestly I couldn't think straight, but then again sometimes I think maybe I hadn't ever thought straighter. I was playing with death, and I was going over in my mind everything I had ever done in my life. Pain was basically the only thing in my mind, but I had one shred of happiness."

"Jimin and Hobi hyung," Taehyung whispered. Yoongi nodded against his head, "They were the one thing I didn't regret in my life and I thought I could fuck that up if I didn't get them away from me. Back to the story, right when I was about to let the lighter drop my bedroom door opened. There they stood with horrified looks as they saw me with the lighter and the smell of gasoline. Jimin took the lighter from my hands and Hoseok crushed my spine in a hug. That night they saved me from myself and I haven't went a day without thanking them for that moment. Everyday there is one thought that is at the back of my skull: did they regret that night? I ask that question to them at least once a week and the answer is always, 'No, we love you and our lives wouldn't be the same without you.' They will never understand how much those words mean to me. I'm always afraid though, afraid that I'll fuck up. Afraid that they will wake up one morning and not love me anymore, but I made a decision a long time ago. Do you know what that decision was?"

Taehyung looked up and shook his head. "I decided that until the day came that they didn't love me I would take all that I could get. Through all the fights and hurt feelings there's always love there. They mean the world to me and I hope that I mean the world to them, and even if tomorrow they decided they didn't want me anymore I wouldn't be able to hate them. I would probably be hurt, but I wouldn't be angry at them."

Taehyung tilted his head back onto Yoongi's shoulder and studied the sky. He contemplated the story and sighed, "I'm terrified that after I fully give him my heart that he'll take it and stomp on it." Yoongi smiled slightly, "Trust me I had that fear too, but you have to make a decision. Do you want to live life regretting that you never let yourself be loved or do you want to look back and be able to say that you were loved. There's an old saying that says 'it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all', I believe whoever said that must have said it years after they really fell in love with someone."

The corner of Taehyung's mouth turned up and he shook his head. "Why can't things always be like this," he thought. Yoongi planted a light kiss to the side of his head comfortingly, "Come on, we need to go get something to eat because I told Kook that I was leaving to get food and I haven't even left the hospital yet." Taehyung looked at Yoongi strangely and got up quickly. Yoongi led him off the roof, through the hospital, and to the car.

Right when they got in Yoongi's phone rang. His bluetooth in the car automatically picked it up and blared it through the speakers. "Hello," Yoongi spoke as he drove out of the parking lot. "Hey babe, it's just Jiminie and me checking in to make sure you guys are okay," Hoseok's voice came through the speaker. Yoongi smiled at his phone fondly, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

There was some squealing before an answer came, "I just cooked some dinner and we're eating. Jiminie, you want to speak to daddy?" There was a pause until Jimin's voice came on the phone, "Hey daddy! I love you, I miss you!" Yoongi smiled harder, "I love and miss you too, bug." Taehyung smiled at the adorableness of their relationship. They really made each other better in his opinion. Yoongi seemed happier whenever they were mentioned or he heard from them.

Taehyung was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice when Yoongi hung up nor did he noticed when they pulled up to a restaurant. Yoongi cut the car off and looked at Taehyung expectantly, "You plan on getting out?" Taehyung nodded hurriedly and got out. When they went into the restaurant Taehyung stood behind Yoongi and looked over the menu. He decided on some simple kimchi and a green tea because he wasn't really hungry and whispered it to Yoongi. Yoongi ordered some bibimbap, roasted duck and chicken, and some drinks. Silently Taehyung stood in front of Yoongi to carry the food since he paid.

Yoongi's hands appeared on his waist, "What do you think you're doing?" Taehyung turned slightly, "I'm carrying the food for you." Yoongi nodded and removed his hands from Taehyung's waist and put them in his pockets. Right when Taehyung was about to be handed the food Yoongi slyly slid in front of him and grabbed the food. Taehyung grumbled, "Why couldn't I carry the food?" Yoongi opened the door for him with a wink and unlocked the door of the car, "Because can you just imagine how Jungkook would react if I didn't treat his baby boy like a gentleman?"

Taehyung internally squealed happily but kept the glare on his face, "Whatever." On their way back to the hospital both he and Yoongi decided that Yoongi would walk in first and Taehyung would walk in a few minutes later. Yoongi sent him a reassuring look and led him into the hospital.

When they were outside of Jin's hospital room Yoongi turned around and laid his forehead onto Taehyung's. "Remember what I said? You can be upset at him for not telling you, there's nothing wrong with what you did," Yoongi pulled back and kissed Taehyung's forehead. With one last look he walked into the room and closed the door. Taehyung stayed outside for a couple of minutes and contemplated what he was going to say.

Slowly his hand reached for the knobbed of the door. He walked in and almost walked right back out seeing how Jungkook looked. Even though it was just a couple of hours ago Jungkook looked terrible. His hair was disheveled, his eyes swollen, and his knuckles were bloodied. He ran and gave Jungkook a tight hug, "I love you, please don't let me go." Jungkook squeezed tighter with a quiet mumble of, "I love you too."

Double update.... BOOM!! Late update (its technically not late its like 9 p.m.) but still an update. Hope You Enjoy