Cold as Ice | The Shades of Love (B.B)

Inside Man

Bellamy

Cold water hitting my face as I looked at myself in the broken mirror. Scars and exhaustion plastered all over my face. It's been two nights that I have barely slept. I was only watching over Lydia waiting for her to smile again and to become better.

"How is she?"

I turned my head to the right to face Raven. Her arms crossed over her chest as she scanned me. Her hair was partly pulled out of her ponytail. Her face was covered with small scratched due to what happened the past days. But she was luckier than others.

"She's breathing" I said as I looked back into the mirror and splashed soem more water into my face. Raven came towards me laying her hand on my back as she tried to make me stop spilling more water into my face.

"I know this is hard but she'll make it through. They will make it through." 

As I nodded she shared a smile before saying "Clarke needs you."

The past days I tried to avoid Clarke as much as possible but I couldn't ignore her forever and the time was running out slowly. We needed to get our people out of that mountain. I followed Raven through the halfway build up walls. There was still plenty of work to do even though the people were working almost all day. Some would even work the whole night. It was their home,there was not much of a choice and now that the winter was coming we needed a shelter.

As I entered the room Clarke and Kane were already waiting for me.

"Thank you for coming Bellamy"Kane said as he advised me to sit on a chair in front of the two. On the table was a map with red marks. Mount Weather was circled in.

"Thank you" Calrke repeated as I nodded waiting for them to go on and tell me what they wanted from me.

"We know that- you know you had a tough time with Lydia but we have to move on" Kane introduced as Clarke pointed her finger on the map.

"Lexa told us that with her army we would go through Trikru territory and make our way inside Mount Weather but we still have the problem with the acid fog. Without an inside man we can't make it to Mount Weather at all and the tunnels are protected by the reapers whcih makes that also impossible" she explained me shwoing me the route to Mount Weather.

"And I am your inside man?"I asked her as they both nodded. I thought abotu Lydia. She was still so weak and if she would wake up I would want to be with her to make sure she is okay. I needed to know what happened to the baby and I know that she needs me as much. But my sister needed me as well. She was my responsibility as well. All of our freinds needed me and god knows how many people are trapped inside that Mountain. Lydia would've want me to go. She would want me to save my sister and Monty and the rest of our friends. She would want me to go even though she would have to go through this time alone. But she was strong. I know that my girl is stong.

"What's the plan."

I saw Clarkes face lightning up as she realized that I would agree to the plan. She told me that I would have to go through the reaper tunnels with other Trikru warriors who agreed on sacrificing themselves for their loves. Whcih basically just meant that they would fight with me if I needed their help. As soon as I was inside the Mountain I had to find the others and try to contact the ark. Raven would instruct me how to turn of the fog and the grounder army would march towards Mount Weather. Everything else they would do. I just had to make sure to turn of the acid fog and find the others. 

"Tomorrow dawn you will march towards Mount Weather with the others. The grounders will build their camp a few miles away from the ark. Lexa said you are invited to stay with the grounders for tonight so you can march tomorrow dawn."

"What about Lydia?"

"She is..still in critical conditions. We should let her stay here with Jackson and Abby."

"Then I am as well."

"Bell-"
"I AM STAYING" I cleared my throat before I stood up again. Taking a deep breath in I turned around and left the room again. Raven was standing outside the room looking at me curious. I just passed her quickly making my way back to the medical station to be with Lydia again. At least for this night I needed to be with her. As I walked in again Lydia was laying in the same position as she was when I left. Jackson injected her soemthing in her arm to keep her vitals stable and give the baby the nutritions it needs. If it survived all of this. Just by the thought of it I felt my stomach cramping. Lydia will be heart broken.

I don't know how I will be. I don't know how to feel about all of this. I am scared of the resposibility and I am scared that our child comes into this world that is so dangerous. But I am proud to created something and I love seeing him or her grow inside of Lydia.

I grabbed the same old chair I sat the past days and placed myself next to Lydia.

"How's she doing?" I asked Jackson who put the stuff back into the cabin.

"Her vitals are okay. Blood pressure is a little low but not too dangerously" he explained. I took her cold hand pressing a kiss on it. Her skin was pale, her eyes were slightly swollen and her lips were chappy. But as exhausted and sick as she looked I still couldn't find a flaw in her. Every time I see her I just see the girl I want to be forever. I see a strong girl that isn't like the others and that's what I love so much about her. I see a girl that carrys my child and I see a mother that will make everything to protect this little family. And I will protect her.