Cold as Ice | The Shades of Love (B.B)

Is this happiness?

Lydia

"I know that you want me to save your child, but a surgery at this point is impossible." Abby said and looked over to Bellamy, who was holding my hand.
"What are we doing now?" I asked Abby.
"Clarke said that Mount Weather has a medical station with a lot equipment, medication and anesthetic. So our only option is to wait till we get into the mountain and as long as we are here, you have to stay at Camp Jaha."
"So we need to be fast right?", Bellamy now asked.
"If possible yes. The most important thing rightnow is that she isn't stressed. Bellamy make sure that she is as relaxed as possible and Lydia you should focus on you, only you. Be selfish for a while. We are going with the grounders to the funeral of Finn and the others, but you have to stay here", she said clearly, while she layed a hot compress on my stomach. It was soothing.

My glimpse landed on Bellamy who was still carefully stroking my hand. He was so caring for me, it must've been hard for him to deal with me.

"You are going with them?" I asked him.

"I stay, Abby gave me the power while she is away with Kane."

"You're in charge?"

Someone entered the room.

"We are",he said and went through his blond hair. It was Byran, he used to be the first officer and second in command on the phoenix. Clearly, the people here in Camp Jaha wouldn't trust a Walden boy who killed the ex- chancellor,but they would trust Byran.

"I hope you are better now, Mrs. Cunningham",he said and kissed my hand,in order to show me his respect. What was he expecting? I knew Byran, he was a martyr and traitor. However,he would never dare to say something against Bellamy. Bellamy had a lot of hidden connections and the remains of the 100 and orphans from the ark would trust him without hesitating.

Also, what would happen if Abby would hear that Byran betrayed Bellamy? Byran was too scared.

"I'm fine,thank you. Would you mind if I talk to Bellamy in private?" I asked Abby and the others that were in the room. They all quielty left and Bellamy gave me his full attention again.

"How are you feeling?"he asked me tenderly.

"Better."

"I know that you don't want to lose it,but you have to promise me that you won't do something stupid."

"Like what?"

"sacrificing yourself."

"Bellamy, all I want is to save our baby."

"I want too, but like Abby said,you have to be selfish."

"I'm trying."

 I felt the pain in my abdome again and curled up. My hands were resting on my stomach as I waited for the pain wave to rush over. Bellamy was  stroking my hair and whisppered into my ear,"shhh, it's over soon. You'll be fine.. shhh". I felt the tears burning in my eyes and in the same moment I felt the blood flowing down my pants.

"ABBY!"Bellamy screamed and after a few seconds Abby was back at my side. She gave me a pill that I should swallow and in fact it worked. The pain was numb after a few minutes.

I was laying in the bed moveless. My forehead was sweaty, my hair was sticking to my skin.
Abby was at grounders territory to talk to the commander and Jackson gave me somethign for the pain every now and then.

"Can you bring me to our room?"I asked Bellamy weak, I felt like the energy have left my body with the blood. Bellamy took me into his arms and walked with me out of the medical staion to our room.

He layed me back down on the matress and covered my body with a blanket, before he layed himself down next to me, drawing circles on my back to calm me down.

"I love you", I whispered tired. I said those words a few times,but I never said them with a meaning so honest and so pure like this time. He pressed his lips on my skin before he whispred as well " I love you too. I really do".

"What do you think it is?" I asked him.

"Gender?"

"hmmm."

He layed his hand on my stomach,resting there for a few seconds.

"A boy."

"Really?"

"I can't be too sure right now but from what I can see now I would predict it. In a little more time we can be more precisely ", he chuckled and turned me around so I was facing him again. Our noses were touching and I had to smile as I looked into his deep eyes. Is this how happiness felt? Because for the first time, in a long while, I felt like nothing else was more important than smiling at him. I felt like a wamr hand was grabbing my heart and my stomach was filled with sprakling stars. I don't know what it is, maybe love, but I wanted this feeling to last forever.

"Thank you for staying", I mumbled and pressed a firm kiss on his lips.

"Thanks for being mine", he answered simply and smiled again.

Mine. I was his, he told me that I was his the first time I slept with him. That day I thought that he was just saying anything,but now I felt different. I wanted to be his, his one and only. I know that he slept with Raven, that he kissed Clarke and that I did the same with Roan, hell, I even slept with Roan, but all that doesn't matter. The past is happened and we can't return it,what counts is what is happening now. That he loves me now, that he keeps me, that he stays and that I would do the same.

"You miss your sister?"

He nodded,followed by a sigh.
"Of course."

"We will find her, besides... she is a strong girl."

"For me,she is still my little sister. I need to protect her."

The tears were kicking in and I had to wipe them away. His cheek was slightly wet.

"We will find her Bells."

"I know, we have to."

He pressed a kiss to my forhead and pulled the covers further up.

"You should take a nap." he said smiling again.

"Can we cuddle?"

"Always", he answered and swung his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, swinging me into sleep after only a few minutes.