Alone With Ross

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"Oh so you can avoid me?" Danielle sassed, shaking her head as she turned around and leaned against the counter. "I missed you today."

Why are you saying this now? I wanted to ask.

"We need to talk." I uttered out. She smiled at me for what felt like the first time in days.

"I have something I need to tell you too." She fiddled with the end of my t-shirt she was wearing. "Look." She pointed over to the counter and at first I wasn't really processing what it was. But the bright pink "+" sign almost made my knees buckle.

What great fucking timing.

The expletives in my head showed no mercy. She strode over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. And I was on autopilot at the moment as I stared at her pregnacy test.

"I always wanted to be a mom." She confessed into my chest, and it was in that moment I knew I couldn't possibly leave her. The next morning as I made my commute to work the reality of the situation came crashing down on me, as I had dangerously veered off the side of the rode. I called Vi in a panic.

"Slow down Ross, what are you talking about?"

"Vi, she's pregnant. I'm going to be a father." I rested my head on the steering wheel. "A-and," I sighed. "I don't want to be with her anymore."

"You're leaving her? You can't just leave her Ross."

"I know, I know! I know that more than anyone that I can't leave her." I said sinking further into the hole I dug myself, one that I thought I was filling, only to find out that Danielle was digging with me. "I came home last night with every intention of breaking things off with her, because it's just so exhausting dealing with her problems, on top of my own, I mean I've experienced a lifetime of that with C-" I paused. "I was just about to tell her... you know, break things off with her, but she was in such a good mood it freaked me out, then to have her show me the test, the positive test." I was rambling, trying to distract myself from the thought of Caspian, I couldn't fathom thinking of her now, I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. "Vi I'm not ready."

"No ones ready, it's not like there's qualifications or tests you have to pass or permits you have to file for to become a parent, it just falls into the hands of people who are capable. And you're more than capable." She sighed. "What are you worried about, you have stable income, right?"

"Yeah."

"You have a roof over your head, with heating and cooling, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"You have money set aside for rainy days?"

"Yeah, you made everyone take a financial management class, remember?" I grimaced at the memories.

"The point I'm trying to make is that you're well on you're feet, and Danielle is set for life on her inheritance, you're both more than capable to support a child with it's basic needs."

"You're forgetting the most important part." She was silent as I spoke on. "The baby needs love."

"And you're doubting your ability to love your own child?" She asked in disbelief.

"Look at where I came from Vi? Remember where all of us came from? The two people who were supposed to love and support me most in the world, didn't. Piper's mother hated even looking at her face, and her father was a rapist. Caspian grew up believing that her parents weren't able to come back to her only to find out they never wanted to come back to her in the first place. And Danny..." I sighed shaking my head at his story. "Was abandoned, left to starve by his father who found his drug addiction more important than raising his son." My head lulled to the car window. "How could I not doubt myself?"