Alone With Ross

•70•

Ross' Journal

I'm making a mistake aren't I?

Me being here is a mistake. I felt my stomach practically doing flips as I took the key out of the ignition. Getting my phone out I clicked on Caspian's name typing out a quick. I found her. Before settling my phone back and running my clammy palms against my pant leg. I looked around the prestigious neighborhood hood, each with more than three cars in their driveway, kept lawns, and welcoming front doors. I used to have this, I used to have a room all to myself, parents who went to all of my games, siblings who would pick on me and teach me things. I had this, but what I have now is much better.

A full house, busy dinners, a car, a job, a future, a girlfriend-.

My heart dropped and I put my head in my hands. This is a mistake. As I looked around and saw all of the things I used to have, it seems so dull compared to Bumpy Roads. 

I was brought out of my thoughts as I heard a knock on my window and I looked up, stunned.

•••••
Caspian's pov

I found her.

It was 8 AM and I still haven't been sleeping well so I was just watching the sun rise through the blinds in Mama Vi's office, the text came in and I merely glanced at it before looking back at the window, but I was startled as my phone began to ring. I was confused to see Ross' name across my screen and I only debated for a small second on wether or not if I should answer, but the latter won as I had missed hearing is voice, so I hit accept and was met with silence.

"Hello?" I asked quietly, I could hear shuffling, a gasp, more shuffling, then a slam.

"Phew, it's pretty chilly in the mornings, should've brought a coat."

I looked at my phone to confirm that it was in fact Ross, before it finally dawned on me that he accidentally called me.

I could hang up right now, and keep this between Ross and April. I should do that, any decent human being would do that, but of course me being me, I held the phone to my ear and I heard her voice again.

"It's been a while hasn't it?" She laughed, just the sound of it made my blood boil.

"Yeah."

What? Nothing more to say? You went all that way you bozo.

Silence.

"You alright?" She asked.

"Just gathering my thoughts." His voice sounded dull. "I've imagined this for years, you'd think I would be able to say everything perfectly and get it out in the open, but I... I don't see a point anymore."

Why is he being so strange? It's what he wanted, he's there, just say it and get it over with! I had my fist clenched around my blanket in irritation.

"You don't see a point anymore?" She questioned in confusion, and I was with her on this one.

"I want to be upset with you, I want to cry, I want to get mad, I want to hate you." I listened in closely, I was almost tempted to get my headphones to listen in better but I couldn't move this phone from my ear because I feared missing a second of this.

"I can't though. I can't and that's the only thing that I'm upset about, I hate that I can't be mad at you for this."

"I should've known you were just going to come all this way to yell at me." She grumbled making me roll my eyes.

"And I should've known that you were going to make this about you." I held back a scream at his quick comeback. "This isn't about you."

"Well, then tell me what this is about so I can go back inside." Could she be anymore annoying?

••••••••
Ross

"You know what? Yeah let's just get this over with." I huffed. "You left without one word." I started and she sighed.

"It seemed to be the easiest thing to do." I gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. "The easiest for me, satisfied?"

"Not really." I started the car to get some heat going and decided to just drive around the block. I was thinking about what to possibly say next as April just looked out the window, away from me. I'm not going to lie. I'm happy to see her, happy to know that she's fine, and healthy and as beautiful as ever, but while she was here okay I was over there missing her like hell.

Or at least I was.

"Get it out." She broke the silence. "Just get it all out, I deserve this."

I clenched my fists around the wheel pulling off too the side again and turning my car off. We were only a block away.

"Do you remember the day that I had told you I loved you? Because I can't seem to remember a time when I didn't love you." I started and I could see her fidget beside me. "It felt natural, it was easy, you know, you're an easy person to love." I laughed. "Now Caspian's a whole other story. I had to spend weeks to gain her trust, and it took me some time to get some feeling from her, and don't even get me started on me telling her I loved her." I looked down at my lap. "I remember everything with her."

"Alright, so you have this perfect girl at home." She said annoyed. "Ross, why are you here?"

"Because you still had something over me, I needed full closure, I need you to tell me how you truly felt, and why you just left me, and Piper, in the dust like that."

"The truth, okay." She sighed. "I was young, we both were, it was just stupid adolescent stuff, I mean, I did like you, and Piper was nice, but I'm sorry, if I'm going to be honest, I didn't love you."

I expected to feel the pang of pain at her words, but it was almost as if I already knew what she was going to say, I just needed to hear her say it.

"But if I'm still being honest, seeing you in front of my house made me realize how great you were." I snapped my head towards her in surprise and she rolled her eyes. "I missed you, so what?" We both laughed but it died out quickly.

"So, plain and simple, you never loved me?" I asked quietly and she nodded her head.

"Plain and simple, we're done, and we never have to hear from each other again." She shivered and I once again started my car to drive back to her house.

"Sounds like a plan." I smiled and she rolled her eyes again.

As she was getting out of the car she paused and looked towards me. "You know, coming here was really stupid." I looked at her confused as she sighed. "She's not going to forgive you for this. I mean I wouldn't."

I leaned my head on the steering wheel exhaling loudly. "That's what I was afraid of."

"Well, good luck, you know how to reach me if you need anything." I got one last glimpse of her as she shut the door and walked into her house without as much as a glance back at me. She couldn't care less about me, and Caspian must feel the same right about now.

Caspian. Shit.

She told me that she was going for early admission into Columbia. I mean she's been on the ball for early graduation from the start, wouldn't surprise me if she was valedictorian either. If it took me two weeks to get here there's no way I'm going to be able to make it on time to see her before she leaves. I reached for my phone to text her, only to be confused as to why my phone is dead.

••••••••••••

Q&A

Ross, why didn't you just bring Caspian with you?
Ross: she does volunteer work that she can't miss, and besides she would've kicked my head off if I asked, it's hard to talk to her as is, no need to complicate it further.

My question for Myself
Aliah, how the heck are you managing to go to high school, write for a blog, post on a fandom account, run two YouTube channels, baby sit your little sister and nephew, eat three meals, write on wattpad, have a social life AND get eight hours of sleep within 24 hours?

Aliah: that's easy, I don't have a social life.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯