Alone With Ross

64

MY NEW YOUTUBE VIDEO :D
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Okay so quick side note/ announcement. I have changed Reed's name to Rider BC the name didn't sit well with me. I changed it in past chapters, but if you're reading through again and see that I've missed some remnants of "Reed" PLEASE PLEASE leave a comment/ inline comment
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"So, Miss stuco president, what do you think about going out for dinner tonight?" Ross leaned down towards me, our foreheads touching and I smiled locking my phone quickly.

"Oh, yeah, there is that new Italian place I wanted to try." I kissed his nose pulling back as more people came to congratulate me on winning stuco president and Ross was making faces behind each person I talked to and before I could talk to anyone else Ross took me by the hand and walked outside to his car making me laugh.

"Your fan club consists of savages." He grumbled and I rolled my eyes.

"Fan club, they're going to go back to ignoring me by next week anyways." I said quietly.

"Are you kidding me? It's not going to change, you're high school royalty now, I can already see your name on the senior prom ballet." He poked my nose and I slapped his hand away.

"So... What I'm popular now?" I wanted to cringe so bad right now as Ross looked over at me and nodded.

••••

"Alright you kept checking your phone during dinner, what's going on?" Ross asked as we got into the room and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I just ordered something online." I lied and he glared at me.

"How about the truth?" He asked and I looked away from him and towards the floor. "Cass." He chastised.

"I was just doing some research." I shrugged, Ross sat down on the bed taking his shoes off and I sat across from him preparing myself. "As you can tell, I'm happy." I placed my hand on his thigh and he looked at me curiously. "And I want to stay this way." We held eye contact as I was trying to mentally say this instead of having to say it out loud because then I'd hear how insane I sound.

"Go on." He urged me grabbing the hand that was on his leg and I nodded my head.

"And so I just kinda went back, to sorta make amends with some people these past couple of days, the biggest being Britney and my Aunt-" I sighed my words getting caught in my throat. "And I have been looking for Rider's contact information." I breathed out.

Ross snatched his hand away from me, startling me. "You're joking right?" I looked away from him and he lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Please tell me that you're fucking joking."

"Why are you so mad?" I said defensively, pushing his hand away from my face but he grabbed me by both of my shoulders.

"Because you just told me that you're trying to make amends, with your rapist." Ross scoffed at me. "Of course I'm mad, why the fuck would you need to make amends with him?"

"Okay, maybe amends wasn't the right word." I tried to get out of his grip. "But I just want closure."

"Closure?" Ross' eyebrows went up in shock. "You already got closure, the exact moment he was put in handcuffs and dragged out of the court room, you're not getting in contact with him." He let me go and grabbed my phone that was by me on the bed but I snatched it back out of his hands.

"You don't get to tell me who I can and can't speak to." I said sternly. "What is wrong with you, grabbing at me and touching my phone?" I glared at him. "And you don't know how I feel Ross, so you can't tell me what I do and don't need." I poked at his chest.

He grabbed my hand, holding it there and I was unable to move it. "You're just getting better." He said exasperated making my stance falter. "I mean, you're back on the right track, everything is going great, what if he's just a set back?"

"Ross I-"

"I love you, and I don't ever want to see you relive any of those past experiences, you said so yourself, this is the happiest you've ever been, and I'm not about to let that asshole ruin it."

The only asshole whose ruining it is you.

"Alright." I sighed in defeat. "I won't contact him."

"Thank you." Ross sighed kissing my forehead.
•••
Dear Rider,

As you can tell from the senders address and all, it's me, Caspian.

I am writing to you to tell you, I forgive you.

I forgive you for taking away something that meant a lot to me. I forgive you for giving me nightmares almost every sleeping moment after you had raped me. I forgive you because I have forgiven myself. I forgive you because I want to move on in life knowing that you are no longer part of it.

I forgive you, but I will never forget what you had done to me, that's the worst part about this, there's still going to be remnants of you when I am with someone else and that's what I hate the most.

But I just wanted to know... Why me? Why did you choose me? What did I ever do to deserve that? At the time you could have chosen anyone else and yet you chose my life to ruin...

-Caspian

I still had more questions but I just tossed my pen down, storing the paper in my journal, a place where Ross is forbidden to go, before laying down beside his sleeping form and falling asleep myself.

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Do you think Caspian should write to Rider?

YEET MY SECOND VIDEO IS UP

SO IF ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE AUTHOR QUESTIONS FOR ME, OR QUESTIONS ABOUT COMING HOME FEEL FREE TO ASK AND ILL ANSWER IN MY NEXT VIDEO