ROGUE

41 : Breakthrough

Jason's POV

I sucked in a sharp breath as I waited for the familiar door to open.
It had taken all my courage to come here, and I wasn't convinced that I would be welcomed.
Not after last time anyway.

I knocked for the second time, trying to keep my patience at its finest.
I tensed when I heard shuffling on the other side of the door, and eventually it opened.
My heart hammered at the sight of the woman stood in front of me.
"I've come to fix things." I said instantly, chewing on my lower lip.

My mom held her breath and her big, blue orbs instantly welled. "Really?" Her voice cracked and I could sense the relief.

"Yeah." My body shook and I could hardly look at her. The guilt of leaving and being so fucking cold ate away at the remains of my heart.
"I think we're both in need of family right now."

"Come in, Jason." Mom said uneasily.
She seemed to be scared and that made me feel sick.
A mother shouldn't be scared of her own son.
I nodded and stepped inside, holding my breath uncomfortably.
"What made you want to see me?" She asked as she shut the door behind me.

"I had no one to turn to," I admitted. "And someone once told me that I'm gonna need family one day." I winced as images of Y/n flashed through my mind.

"I'm so glad you came." She nodded, smiling gently. "And especially like this."

"Like what?" I asked, looking at the floor and avoiding the creepy glare of my childhood that was framed on the wall.

"Vulnerable." She said. "Let's talk about this in the living room, can I get you anything?"

"No thanks." I said as I walked hesitantly through the corridors and to the sitting room.
Mom followed behind me at a distance, and I could tell that my appearance was a big shock to her.
I took a seat and so did she, and the awkward silence lingered for a minute, before I spoke.
"I'm sorry, mom." I mumbled.

"No, Jason. I'm sorry." She shook her head. "Your childhood wasn't perfect because of me, and I wish I could fix that."

"My childhood was enough." I looked up and met her welled up eyes. "It made me who I am today."

"A criminal?" Her voice cracked and the disappointment was unmistakable.

"No." I said sharply. "Someone who understands the world. I've been through a lot, Mom. And it's changed me."

"I know." She nodded. "But maybe if things weren't so rough back then, it wouldn't have lead you into this lifestyle. It's breaking you, Jason. And I can see it in your eyes."

"It's not the life that's breaking me." My eyes burned. "It's the people in it."

"What do you mean?" She noticed my sudden distress.

"Y/n," A tear spilled from my eye before I could stop it. "She's breaking my heart, Mom." My voice cracked and I felt so weak, especially how I was letting my vulnerability get the best of me in front of my mom.

She stood up and sat down next to me, hesitantly wrapping her arms around my quivering body.
I surprised myself when I allowed her to embrace me, and before I knew it, I was sobbing into my hands.
"Oh, honey. What's happened?" She whispered.

"She left me," My chest heaved violently. "She left me and she's not coming back. I lost her and I promised myself that I wouldn't let that happen. I lost my everything."

"Jason," Mom whispered soothingly. "That girl loves you with all her heart, she told me herself. She was so genuine, and I know that she'd do anything for you."

"That was before she found out about my stupid mission," I took hiccuping sobs like a five year old who had just fallen over. "It was to hand her over to this other gang, and she ended up getting tortured by them. It's my fault."

Mom hesitated and I could tell that she was lost for words.
I was too, and it sickened me every time I remembered what I did to her.
It lingered on the end of every thought, haunting me.
"Perhaps she just needs time."

"It's been a month," I shook my head, furiously wiping away my tears. "I've got no one to turn to. I'm breaking."

"You've always got me, love. No matter what."

I was about to say something when my phone rang in my pocket.
I pulled away from my mothers embrace and reached for the vibrating device, not even bothering to see who it was.
I sucked in a sharp breath, cleared my throat and gathered myself together before answering.
"Hello?" I tried to hide the pain in my voice.
You're Jason McCann, you're not supposed to feel pain.

No one spoke on the other end of the line for a moment, all I could hear was shaky breathing and the muttering of someone in the background.
"Say something." The distant voice mumbled.

"Who's this?" I cleared my throat for the second time, my patience instantly running thin.

"Um, Hey Jason." A quivering voice spoke. It was all too familiar and the tears welled once again in my eyes. "It's Y/n." She spoke.

My mouth parted slightly in nothing but awe.
"Hey," My voice shook as much as hers and my nerves got the best of me. "Are you okay?"

The line was silent again for a moment, and the soft sound of Y/n's breathing quickened.
"No, not really." Her voice cracked and I instantly panicked.

"Are you hurt?" I said too quickly. "Where are you?"

"No, I'm not hurt. But... I think we need to meet up. It's kind of important."

My heart leapt.
Just the thought of seeing her beautiful face again made me want to cry of happiness.
"Okay, when?"

"As soon as possible, I can't sleep on this Jason. Can we meet today?" I could hear her sobbing and it tore me open.

"Of course, I can come round at five?"

"No!" She panicked and I was instantly suspicious. "Don't come round."

"Y/n, what's going on?"
I saw my mom perk up from the corner of my eye and she smiled warmly.

"I'll explain later," the quivering of her voice settled an uneasy feeling in my stomach. "I just don't want you to come to Bella's house."

"Um, okay?" I mumbled skeptically. "I'll text you my new address and you can come to mine."

"Okay, I'll be there at five."

And then the line went dead.

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