together | ethan

fifteen

I open the door to his room and stand in the doorway just admiring everything that was there. The thought that mostly everything in here will be gone haunts me. The thought he'd be gone haunts me.

Gee, now I know how he felt when I was leaving. But regardless, when he leaves to college, I'd probably have no choice but to go back to Australia.

Australia...

The last thing I want is for him to stress about long distance. He'd feel pressured to check up on me every second of his day.

Once everything goes down... we'll tear apart.

Yeah, yeah. Leave it to Carter Morris to be the big negative piece of shit in the crowd of a movie theater. I can't help it, I'm just stating facts. Hard cold facts. Though I don't want them to be true, shit I know it is...

I wanna grow old with him. I wanna get married or have multiple kids or go on a honeymoon and create wonderful memories. But... what happens after this.

"Hey," a pair of arms wrap around me, engulfing me I'm that familiar scent I've kept around my entire life. "Whatcha thinking about?" He asks, resting his chin on top of my head.

"To be honest..." I turn around to face him. He looks down at me, furrowing his eyebrows, "our future."

"I don't know where it'd go," I add, a feeling of sadness wash over me.

He sighs, "I know we're going our separate ways soon," he kisses the top of my head, "but we'll find each other again..." I wrap my arms around his torso.

"I promise."

——

"So whats your choice? What're you gonna do?"

"I don't know, but it's stressing me out. I need a cookie."

"Ok, get your cookie, girl. But put me on speaker so you can keep listening."

"First of all, theres a lot of bad things that can happen if you stay with him while he goes off to college and you go off to Australia. One, he could possibly cheat, two the long distance is a horrible thing, and three he'd be having the time of his life partying while you're sitting at home taking care of a baby. Not to mention, you did say it would stress him out."

"And the pros... you two love each other. Well, that's not that much is it?" She chuckles.

"It's not much, but it means a lot.."

"But if you don't stay together..." she begins, "you'll both be heartbroken.."

"There's really no way out of this Carter. In the end, you'll both end up broken."

I stay silent for a moment, "I know..." I reply. "But... what could you do?" I shrug.

"Well, you can start by telling him. I see you haven't done that yet."

"I will." I say defensively.

You told Grayson and Josie.

Grayson and Josie aren't Ethan.

Just tell him. He's been your bestfriend forever. How hard can it be?

Having you been living in the past, subconscious? Im pregnant, idiot, I can't just write it on a cupcake and call it a day..

Whatever.

"You better, cause he cannot leave to college without knowing."

Footsteps walk into the kitchen, partially scaring me as I prepared to hang up the call with Josie.

"Okay. I will, don't worry. I've got to go now, I'll talk to you later." I hang up the phone, turning around as I leaned against the kitchen counter.

"You will what?" He jokes.

"That's..." I hesitantly begin, "actually what I wanted to talk about.."

His mood changes to worried within seconds, and suddenly I feel bad for telling him this.

I feel my palms sweating as I take his hand and bring him to the living room so we could sit.

"Carter... what is this? You're worrying me." He chuckles, but I know he doesn't find any of this funny.

I turn my body so it's facing him all the way sitting criss cross.

"Ethan..."

"I have a feeling this is a break up..." he says, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at me with sad eyes.

I open my mouth to speak, only nothing comes out. The thing with Ethan was with certain times, he could read me really well, and I couldn't do anything to hide it.

"It is isn't it.."

"No- well.. yeah.. but the thing is, Ethan, you're going to college. Your dream college. I'm going back to Australia... this just.. can't work." I reply, looking down at my lap.

"Yes it can," he lifts my chin up to look at him. "We're stronger than this, Carter. Why give up now?"

"Why not?" I say, my shoulders dropping, "we're gonna end up getting hurt either way."

"Carter, listen," he pecks my lips once, "I would never hurt you. Not again; not ever."

"It's much more complicated than you think, Ethan. You don't understand," I feel a single tear leave my eye before quickly wiping it away.

Ethan wipes the remaining tears, "then make me understand."

I couldn't muster the courage to tell him the big secret. The only courage I could muster up was the courage of breaking up with him. Or at least trying to. I felt like a coward, not having the ability to tell this person, whom I've known my entire life, that I was having his children. That we might be a family.... And, I am a coward.

I made a promise to myself. Considering Ethan wouldn't take breaking up as an answer... I promise to tell him soon. Very soon.

And I don't break promises.

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END OF CHAPTER FIFTEEN