Perfect Little Blue Boy (Percy Jackson)

Chapter Sixty One

Thalia

I fucking hate small talk. But someone had to bring it up. And it wasn't even Leo.

It was Bianca.

"So," she remarked, and it was already awkward. Jason, Leo, and Piper were next to me. "You died?"

Please just stop. I don't want to talk about it. I hate talking about it. I'm happy Percy's never asked me. Grover told him about it, I guess. So he never asked me. He never questioned my death, I never questioned his depression.

I did know about it, yes. Grover, Percy, and I kept each other updated. We were really good friends. We still are. Sort of. When Jason showed up... It's weird.

When Jason was taken I was terrified and I just wanted him back. But he showed up and... I mean, he's kind of ignorant and doesn't seem to care about me as his sister. I'm just another demigod to him. Which... It kind of bugs me.

"Yeah, what the hell." Jason remarked to me as Grover, Tyson, and Percy walked over. Nico was already over here. Everyone was here. Just not right here. "You never told us about you dying."

Percys face screamed shut up.

"I just assume that everyone knows." I told them, shrugging. "Shit happens, okay?"

Things I don't like talking about: my death, and Luke.

When Luke showed up again... I wasn't wanting anything to do with that. Like I get the gods were assholes and whatever. But he didn't need to do what he did.

All it did was mess shit up.

"Okay, then..." Jason remarked, having an attitude he always has around me. "Somebody doesn't want to talk."

Percy was tired of it, too.

"If she's here, alive," Percy added on, tired of Jason's attitude just as much as Grover and I were. "Does is matter that she told you?"

"Well it would've been nice to know!" Jason snapped at Percy. Which was... Unexpected. "I know you guys think I'm a asshole. But you're no better, Jackson. You're not as high and mighty as you fucking think you are."

Nico was ready to become the defensive boyfriend. Ready to beat Jason in.

"I'm not as..." Percy scoffed. "Jason, I've never thought that about myself. What makes you think that I... What?"

Percy has depression. You don't say shit like that. It just makes him feel worse. It makes him think even worse about himself. And he was just... He was just about to start a happy life with Nico. A life he fucking deserves at this point in time.

"Oh, don't bullshit me." My little brother snarked, seeming disgusted. Hazel and Frank walked over, confused. "You're the Perseus Jackson. That whole Good Kid thing? Bullshit. Your depression? Bullshit. All you want is attention, and you'll do anything to get it. Right? You selfish bastard."

And then I realized something.

Jason was raised at Camp Jupiter. Which is a place that... If you get hurt, you suck it up. If you have an illness you keep your mouth shut. They don't think depression is a legit thing. Or anxiety. It's just an excuse to not train. To not fight. To not talk. They think it's a lot of bullshit.

Well, not everyone. Reyna came late enough and so did Frank and Hazel that they think it's bullshit that Jason thinks that. That camp works that way. But I don't know... Jason was raised that way. If you have depression, you just want attention. Anything like that is just you wanting attention.

Not an actual problem.

And Jason saying that blew out Percy's little flame. It made him feel useless. Like he didn't matter. It just made him feel, how he's always described it to me, as ugly. Gross. Bad.