Skinny. [complete]

Goodbye

I've been locked in this room for hours. I picked at the nails until they were both finally out. Blood running out of my wounds still as I press into them roughly. Maybe I did deserve this. Michael and Stephen said they'd be back soon but I don't know when that will be. I'm afraid that if I break out I'll find them waiting for me. Is this a test?
I've started hiding pills in random places so I can slowly collect a pile big enough to overdose on. Nobody's gonna help me, I'm stuck here. I just want to be free; even if it comes at a cost. Death is better than letting myself go. Better than being hurt constantly. "It's better to burn than to fade away" but what if you've already started to fade and there's no going back? Then wouldn't it be okay to leave everything behind? Friends, family, enemies. Stop holding people back. I control my life. I control my fate. I swallow hand fulls of pod pills of several colors and sizes, but will it be enough? Once I get out of this room. Once they let me into mine so I can sleep, I'll take the pills and hope that I'll die. Nobody can save me. Nobody knows who I am. If nobody else can save me then I have to save myself, even if it means taking my life.

To the only people who ever loved me: Chase and Tyler.
You might not get this because Michael and Stephen are assholes. Live every day that I couldn't. Make better decisions than I did. I'm sorry I couldn't stay strong and find my way back to you guys but at least I won't be dragging you down anymore. Thank you for getting me out of America, away from Michael. I'm sorry I fucked that up by letting myself get close to Stephen. I thought I could trust him, I should've just isolated myself from everyone but you two. I fucked everything up myself. Please watch over my mom as much as you can. Just make sure she's safe. I love you Chase and Tyler. I love you guys so fucking much and I'm sorry it's come to this.
Goodbye. I'll miss you both so much
-Violet