ROGUE

09 : Loyal

"Want to go in the other room?" Jason whispered, getting up from the sofa.

I nodded and followed him out.

"Don't do anything Jesus wouldn't do." Jake called as Jason rolled his eyes and shut the door.

I curled up on one of the beds under Jason's arm. "Can I ask you something?"

He pulled me closer. "Anything."

"Are you okay? Like, really okay?" I mumbled, Jason's behaviour had seemed to change.
Maybe it was just me. Jason tensed and he hesitated.

"No. I'm not."

"What's wrong?" I rested my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat speed up. He grabbed my hands, holding them there.

"Nothing to worry about." He whispered.

"Are you sick?"

"No-"

"Are the bipolar pills making you sick?"

"Y/n-"

"Because if they are then you should stop taking them."

Jason squeezed my hands tightly. "I said it's nothing to worry about." He mumbled.

I bit my lip. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Jason inhaled and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes looked glossy. But maybe it was the lighting.
"Just be here."
His voice cracked and I panicked.

"Jason, what-"

"I need you to be here. With me. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone tells you, I want you to always know that I love you. And I always will. Promise me that you'll never forget that." His voice shook as he spoke.

I took a deep breath. "Jason, you're scaring me. Why are you telling me this?"

He squeezed my hands even tighter. "Promise me."

My breath hitched. "I promise."

Jason opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Finally he spoke. "I love you." He whispered.

I wanted to say it back more than anything.
But I couldn't.
"Jason, you're brave and loyal. You'd do anything for the people you care about. You should be proud. You keep thinking everything you do is a mistake. You think you screw up no matter what you do-"

"I do screw up."

"Let me finish. There are always choices, you never know if you're making the right one or the wrong one until it's done. But when it counts, you make the right one." I whispered.

Jason's heart hammered beneath my touch. Finally, he reached up and slid his hand behind my neck, pulling me towards him.
"Look at me, Y/n," His voice was thick and heavy. "You're the only person who's ever said anything like that to me. The only person who sees me that way."

Our faces were a foot apart, but it felt like Jason was so close he could hear was I was thinking.
"That's not true-"

"Shh," He moved his hand and brought his finger to my lips. "I don't care if anyone else thinks those things, as long as you do. The way I feel about you..." he stopped as if he couldn't find the right words. "Sometimes, when I'm with you, I can hardly breathe." He whispered, the lighting made it hard to see his face, but I could just make out something glistening beneath his eye.
I reached out with my thumb and wiped it.
My breath hitched.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

Jason shook his head and looked down. "I'm not. There's just something in my eye."

I lifted his chin. "Why are you crying." I repeated, his emotions were so contagious, I wanted to cry too.

"It doesn't matter." He mumbled.

"It matters to me."

"Y/n... I can't talk about this. Please."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I want you to know that I'm here for you." I said.

I pressed my lips against his, trying to make the space between us disappear. It felt the way it always did when our lips finally touched. I sensed how much he wanted me- how much I really mattered to him. I ran my fingers down his arms.
"No matter... what happens." I whispered between kisses.
Jason's tongue swirled around my mouth in a hunger that matched my own.
"I'm always...here."

"Shut up and let me kiss you."

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