A Life Worth Living «tree bros»

27. a missing pill bottle and a run to the park

Connor went home with Evan, not wanting to face his father again. He usually was at Evan's house at that point. He had his own drawers full of things, just like Evan had at the Murphy's.

They both climbed in bed with smiles on their faces, Connor hugging Evan close in more of a spooning fashion than anything, one hand over his heart and one over his waist. Evan nuzzled back into him, enjoying the warmth.

"Just remember I love you no matter what happens to either of us, okay, Evan?" Connor sighed into Evan's ear and neck as he placed his chin in the small crook, hair falling over Evan's neck.

"I'll definitely remember," Evan stated happily. "You have to remember that I love you no matter what happens to either of us, Connor."

"I won't forget it, babe."

"Neither will I, cuddlebug," Evan chuckled back. He was proud he made a nickname for Connor, since whenever he went over they slept together despite having an air mattress.

"Thank you for this whole day," Connor said. "I don't think I'll regret anything that happened. I had fun."

"That's always good," Evan yawned.

Connor waited until he could feel Evan's heart go to a slower, steady pace, signaling he was asleep. He slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake Evan up by replacing where he was with a pillow. 

He took out a pen and paper and scribbled down a note before placing it on Evan's chest.

***

Evan woke up a short time after he had fallen asleep. It felt oddly cold, the bed was empty apart from him and it just felt wrong. He noticed and grabbed the paper laying on his chest and read it.

Dear Evan Hansen.

Remember, I will always love you, no matter what happens to me. Thank you for giving me the best last day possible. I hope you won't forget me, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm going to miss kissing you at the park, that was the best day, no matter how terribly it ended.

I love you so fucking much, Evan Hansen. Keep living, you're not beyond repair.

Sincerely, me, your Connor Murphy-

Evan reread it at least three times before he realized what was going on. His heart almost stopped, shock taking over his body as he scrambled up as quickly as possible to slip a sweatshirt on that happened to be Connor's, and run. He ran.

He mentioned the park. Was he at the park? God, what if he was too late?! He noticed something was off everything could've been avoided if he wasn't so scared to ask questions! Evan started to hyperventilate, but kept running. Faster. Faster. Fasterfatsefatser Evan you need to go faster! Faster than his heart rate, faster than the thoughts whirling violently in his mind. Why can't you go faster?

His bare feet burned by the time he slowed down at the park. He even left blood tinted footprints from all the gashes that started to bleed from running barefoot across streets, not even bothering to avoid any sharp rocks on the road.

He flicked on the flashlight app on his phone, shining it everywhere, crying out Connor's name over and over and over. He felt like he was going to vomit or pass out, but he couldn't do either. He needed to find Connor.

He heard a small groan. He quickly shined his flashlight to see Connor Murphy on the ground next to a bench, eyes wrecked and hands shaking.

Evan collapsed at Connor's knees, dropping his phone and feeling Connor's chest and his heart still pulsing, and felt Connor's jaw and hands, which were still warm so that must've been a good sign. He wasn't hallucinating.

Evan patted down the ground around them, finding a pill bottle with only half of them left, a little below.

"Did you overdose?" Evan asked, voice quiveringa nd stammering and he was so frantic he felt woozy.

"I'm sorry," Connor choked out breathlessly.

"No," Evan muttered. "No, no no nonononoOCONNOR!" His words slowly raised into a shout, making Connor flinch from being so close.

Evan blinked, eyes finally letting go of his eyes and started to roll down his cheeks.

"You can't go," Evan mumbled.

Without thinking, Evan grabbed the bottle and down as many pills as he could, dry swallowing them all, not paying attention to the dull pain as they all prodded at his throat as he swallowed them in a lump.

"If we die, we're dying together," Evan stated, voice shaking and stuttering.

"Evan, Evan!" Connor cried out. "No, no you don't have to die!"

"Neither do you!" Evan shouted back, grabbing his phone and calling emergency, explaining that they, two stupid teenagers, just overdosed at the park on the second bench.

"If they make it in time," Evan choked out, throats feeling like it was closing, suffocating him. "We'll both live. If they don't, we both die together."

"You coulde just left me go," Connor muttered sadly. Evan noticed he was crying, too. He was crying uncontrollably and yet didn't break out in a sob.

"How could i with all you've done for me, for everyone!" Evan exclaimed, throat hurting even more. His stomach churned and he felt a little dizzy.

He let out a heavy breath.

"Listen, if we survive this, I'm going to give you a life worth living, even if I can't give myself one yet," Evan mumbled, already feeling woozy. "Just hold on, Connor. Hold on for me. Fight for me."

Evan latched his hand onto Connor's, which was starting to go cold. He intertwined his fingers, receiving a small squeeze back. It gave him hope, but he couldn't hold on for too much longer.

"I'll see you soon, Connor," Evan mumbled with a dry, cold chuckle as he heard loud, drowning voices approach frantically, footsteps heavy and lights flashing. "Don't go without me."

Connor didn't respond, but the force was still in his hand.

Evan's eyes closed, a smile twitching on his lips, happy to be able to spend what he was almost sure what was going to be his last day, smelling the residue of the rain, taking in the view of the night sky.

---
Hahaha I love suffering hey guys how y'all doing? I thought maybe I was being too long with the fluff, anyway here's the last, or second to last chapter of the book!!

I'm sad I'm done writing this, it was so much fun and I love reading all the comments!!