A Life Worth Living «tree bros»

10. dont make me remember

((Strong language and homophobia and homophobic slurs (you know the one) be safe I'll put an asterisk once it's to the paragraph!!))

Evan opened up his house, cringing as he saw how dirty it was. At least it was dirty in the kitchen with leftover boxes and some wrappers floating around. He was terrible at cleaning and his mom was never around to clean. When she was home once a week, they had pizza. Other days, Evan didn't eat.

He tugged on Connor's hand, leading him to the living room, which was cleaner but still not the best looking--their couch was ancient, the TV small and didn't have too many channels, and a small DVD player but not many movies. Maybe early movies, when they had money he'd go out with his dad to pick out movies for family night, but Evan suppressed those memories because they made me increasingly more emotional than what he's used to.

They sat down on the soft cushions and Evan gave Connor a smile, even earning a sad, broken smile from Connor.

It was weird to see Connor with emotion. He hid everything so well until that day when he just, couldn't handle it. Something happened, or maybe it was Evan mentioning it.

"Thank you for taking me in for the day," Connor sniffled, tears still lingering in his eyes. "Sorry I'm such a mess. I'm not usually like this but I guess anything's better than anger."

"Is everything okay at your home?" Evan asked quietly, rubbing circles onto Connor's back as the sat knee next to knee on the couch.

Connor paused.

"No," he sighed. "Everything is shit at my hom--house."

The subtle change from
Home
To
House
really caught Evan's attention. He didn't really know why. Did Connor not consider that a home? Was it just a house to him--just a roof over his head he was given?

"What happened?" Evan asked.

"Everything. Everything bad that could possibly happen, happened," Connor shouted unintentionally, not even backing down when Evan flinched.

There was a beat of silence.

"My father wants me out of the house," Connor sighed, taking a deep breath.

He didn't look at Evan's reaction, but Evan was horrified that something like that happened to Connor. Why? He didn't know. His mind was reeling with all these questions, but in fear of Connor's anger, he bit his tongue.

"My mom wants me to stay in the house," Connor held his breath for a moment. "My mom was excited I have a friend, she saw us holding hands and thought that's what friendship is so she told my father that we were holding hands and shit and now he thinks I'm gay!"

Evan stiffened.

"Did--did I d-d-do this?" Evan choked out.

*slur coming up

"No, Evan," Connor said in a surprisingly steady tone. "It's not that you made him think I'm gay. It's that I am gay. He just tries to forget I'm gay and tries to wash me out. That's why he ignores me. Because I'm the fag--"

Before he could finish his sentence he saw how deep of a flinch Evan had at that word. Eyes stitched shut, arms up head tilted shit his body was tilted away and he stayed like that.

His eye peaked open, still hesitating before returning to his position, but around an inch farther away from Connor, but to Connor? It felt like a mile.

Maybe it was his tone. He was harsh. In fact, he was telling the words he spoke, anger seeping through his tongue, and god that word really did reel back memories.