Lasting Impressions©

Birthday wishes.

"Hi," Harry slurs. I've seen Harry drunk before, but I have never seen him like this. When he tries to stand he stumbles over, nearly rolling down the hill. "I got a tattoo tonight," He continues and I'm shocked. He looks terrible, and it hurts my heart knowing that I have had a hand in making Harry this distraught. I don't know how to approach this. I want to yell at him. I also want to hug him and tell him how sorry I am, that I'm not afraid of his touch. I choose the latter.

Closing the gap between us, I put my hands up to his chest. I hardly take the initiative, but I feel that I need to, he looks so broken.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." I say it so quietly that I'm surprised when he looks down and asks why.

"Harlow, I'm sorry. Why would you be sorry? I hurt you, I fucking hurt you again. Fuck! I can never get this right." I feel a whole new level of low fall upon me. I let him think this was his fault this whole time. I let him beat himself up for seven damn days. What a bitch.

"No Harry, I am sorry. I had no right to be angry with you. We weren't anything but best friends back then, and we weren't anything when you came back. For what ever reason you came back for me, or not, you didn't know what was going to happen. She can be quite the slut too so..." I trail my rambles off, and when he doesn't say anything I proceed. "Harry I didn't mean to do anything to hurt you,"

"Why did you pull away from me Low?" I didn't want to have this conversation with Harry while we were both so drunk. Judging Harry's stance and the immensity at which he is swaying, he won't even remember this in the morning.

"Harry let's sit down okay?" I take him by the hand but he won't budge. I try and convey my concern with my eyes but he isn't reading me right.

"Harlow why?" He raises his voice.

"I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to, it's just become an involuntary reflex to me now." I attempt.

"It's never been that way with me, you think  I would hurt you? Don't you."

The slight hesitation in my answer is all Harry needs and he's dropping my hand and walking to stand behind the bench I was trying to make him sit on, leaning down with his hands on the back rest.

"No Harry, I know you would never hurt me, not intentionally." This wasn't the answer I was going for. Shoot, why did that last part come out? I blame the alcohol. It encourages the words from my mouth at a rapid rate.

"No that's not what I mean. I know you wouldn't hurt me." It's too late. I think the damage has been done from my word vomit.

So what I do next is not only an attempt to fix the damage I've caused to our friendship. Also I want it. I kneel on the bench facing Harry, I put both hands on his cheeks to make him look at me. I look straight at him, warning him what I'm about to do, but he is so intoxicated I don't think he can put it together in his head. Then I just kiss him.

At first it's hard and fast, pretty sloppy, but then it's like Harry wakes up and takes over. My hands go from his face to tangle in his curls. Harry wraps one arm around my waist pulling me in to his chest the other is cradling my face. We're making up for lost time holding on to each other, our hands all over the place and before I know it were laying on our backs out of breath in the flowers.

"So a tattoo?" I remember him saying something about getting a tattoo tonight. The amount of alcohol he seems to have consumed makes me a little apprehensive.

"Oh yeah I did, it was before I was trashed so don't worry."

It's like he felt my anxiety in the air, once he assures me that he wasn't drunk when he got the tattoo and that he only got totally smashed after coming here. Which only makes me sad to hear. I raise my eyebrows telling him to continue. Harry's lifts his shirt to expose yet another random tattoo. This one a small inscription on his hip "Might as well..." There's a small smile playing on my lips, this boy never fails to surprise me.