Lasting Impressions©

Take Me.

After that night at Harry's, I felt like my life was in a tailspin. I spent every second I could there they were packed and gone within a week. Supposably his parents had already had all the technicalities worked out before they said anything to their children. That also pissed Harry off he thought they should have given him time. Time to process and time to say good bye.

    The night before they were leaving I spent stayed over, Harry was so distant I contemplated leaving but I didn't I didn't want to and I don't think Harry wanted me too. I think he just felt as lost as I did. I felt empty and confused and scared. Harry was my best friend the only person I could really talk to. We just sat in his empty room, it was so quite I think you could hear the thoughts in Harry's head. After spending hours in our own minds dwelling on everything going on Harry spoke.

  " Your going to be okay... Right ?" He looked like he was in pain I could see every emotion flash through  just by looking in his eyes.  His voice was extra raspy from sitting silent for so long on top of all the fighting he had been doing with his parents. I knew I would be okay with out him I knew that I made it the first part of my life on my own. I was just sad to lose my best friend not because I needed protecting which he tried to do a lot but I could find for myself I just didn't really want to.

"Yeah... I-..I guess so. Will you?" I return the question. The truth is I don't know if I could bear it if he wasn't okay. I think that if he's okay I'll be okay somehow it will work like that. He doesn't answer me just holding my eye contact until I finally feel like I have an answer. He will he just didn't think I will I know that's why he won't answer me. I ask him something else something to get us out of here before I lose Harry to his thoughts again.

"Do you want to go to the field?" When he doesn't answer I reword my question.
"Please, can we go to our field," with that it's like something clicks inside him. He shakes his head to rid himself of whatever and captured his attention in the first place. He sands and pops the window open. Without saying anything maybe he feels like everything will spill if he give it a chance to, so I accept the silence.  Harry and I have a few things that we consider to be ours, we always go out his window. His parents know that I am here, sometimes they don't but this particular time they do I ate dinner with them a very tense yet delicious dinner. We don't do it to be sneaky we just do it. And I hardly knock on the front door I go straight to his window, unless I'm in a exceptionally great mood. It's just our thing, also we have our field, there is a clearing just to the left of the path we have made between our houses. A beautiful field that is filled with wild flowers we've even brought a bench out to sit on when we don't want to lay on the flowers.  It's where we go when things don't seem that beautiful, it's a reminder that the world is bigger than us and it has beauty you just have to look. You can see out on to the ocean if you walk far enough from the path that's where we go. After climbing out Harry's window he held his hand out for me to take if I wanted. I do not like being touched but in some situations I feel like I need to touch something and it is always Harry. If it's something like holding his hand or having him hold me in a hug something when I just don't feel safe, or too alone that just his presence isn't enough. Now is one of those times that I just need him, so I grab on to him and we walk to our spot. The walk is about thirty minutes in which nothing is said between us but it's okay it doesn't feel awkward. A lot of mine and Harry's time together is spent in silence we both just get wrapped up in our thoughts but need to be near one another.

The air is crisp and cool, I pull my sweater tighter to gain some warmth Harry's not phased by the temperature I think he is just to focused on what I don't know.

"Harry ... We're .... It's not ... It's not over between us right ?" He knows what I mean. Harry isn't my boyfriend,, technically but he is the closes thing I have ever had to one. To people that see us together they might even mistake us for a couple. Not because we're affectionate but the way we look at each other and the fact that you rarely see us with anyone else. Harry has friends at school some that he does hang with but not as often.