Lasting Impressions©

Moveing.

    Presently I am sitting in home room, to say I'm bored is an understatement. I sit here doodling instead of taking notes,when I look down I realize I drew him. The curly hair and big eyes can only belong to one person. After that first night we spent together we found a way to see each other often. Even made a meeting place in between our houses in the trees. He never came to my house half way is as close as I would let him get. I never wanted to know how bad home really was. Harry and I became close though I opened up to him like nobody else he was honestly my only real friend.

   Once again I found myself sitting on that old swing set alone. I don't think Harry or anyone was home because the house was dark. It was only about seven but already dark outside and very cold being mid December. I'm fifteen and did something  really stupid, this mid December night will change everything for me I just don't know it yet. See Harry and I don't go to the same school, so I don't have any real friends I see everyday yeah I have a couple people I can associate myself with but no true friends. That particular day at school two of the fairly popular girls asked if I wanted to hang out with them after school. So you see the reason I don't have friends isn't because I'm necessarily ugly or anything. I just don't like people so I don't talk to them especially the ones at my school they all seem so juvenile and immature also I have an extreme phobia of being touched. That's why look wise I have long uncontrollably waves brown hair, maybe a little to many freckles across my nose. I'm not fat but not skinny, I'm just me simple I wear simple cloths and try not to be noticed. So I was confused and the sudden invitation struck me as odd, but I believe that deep down I wanted someone to like me. I didn't know it but something in me wanted friends so against my better judgement I decide to agree.

    The evening started like this. Amber and Megan pick me up at my house after getting my address via text earlier in the day. They show up at five thirty precisely as they said they would and honk the horn repeatedly. I very hesitantly get in the back seat with them too see Meagan the one not driving drinking straight from the vodka bottle. Immediately I have an unease in my stomach, I want to get out but for some reason my mouth will not say what my brain is yelling. I didn't know really what pier pressure felt like, yeah I was pressured or more like forced to do things I didn't want with Crystal but this felt different. When I was with crystal I would listen to not get beat, with them I think I wanted acceptance?

It's not necessarily that I wanted people to like me or think I was cool, but when we showed up at an upperclassmen's house I found my self drinking with the other girls. The house belonged to Dustin a senior at our high school and the people here all seemed to be that, seniors and boys, it seems like half of the boys varsity soccer team is here. Along with Amber Meagan one other girl who introduced herself as Ashlee and myself. Me being the only freshmen and the other three sophomores, I felt uncomfortable and out of place but continued drinking with the other girls. I have tasted alcohol before  at Crystals demand but never actually drank enough to be drunk which I am at this moment. I don't know why I did it but I sorta like the feeling and feel like this could easily be my new escape I don't think half the things I have to endure at home would feel so bad if I felt like this while it happen. All is well beside the twisting feeling I have in my gut and now I'm blaming that one the drinks although it was there before. I find myself sitting in a corner on a fold out chair, even though I am intoxicated my personality is the same I can not bring myself to socialize with these people. As the time passes I contemplate trying to find a way home. As soon as I decided I'm going to give in and call Carol or maybe even Harry to see if he could come get me I know he doesn't quite have his drivers license but he still gets around. Tyler a player on the soccer team pulls up a chair right in front of me and places his hand on my knee I automatically jerk out of his touch  without any thought.

"Hey there your low right?" He brushes the slight rejection of phi all contact aside thank Goodness. Tyler isn't bad looking blond hair and blue eyes. He's tall and looks to be in great shape. His voice is deep but not soothing and calming like another voice I know, but much older than me and I am just not interested. At all.  I answer I'm with a reserved and timid shake of the head really not carrying what else he has to say.