Lasting Impressions©

Life goes on.

      It's almost been three years since Harry left. We kept in touch for the better part of the first year, but it slowly stopped. We would write letters to each other along  with modern day communication. First the letters stopped coming back then he stopped answering the phone. lastly his texts went from being one word no reply. He had a girlfriend that he really liked, he sent me picture of her and she was beautiful. I wasn't mad that he was dating I knew he would he's too good to be alone I was just dejected that he felt it necessary to cut ties with me. I knew better than to think he would be my best friend forever like we promised. It turns out that approximately  three thousand miles can keep him from being here for me.

The last I head from Harry was a letter it came about six months after he stopped talking to me altogether. When I saw the letter on the kitchen table I thought about just tossing it in the trash and not even opening it. I couldn't do it I took it to my room and stared at it for three days before I just couldn't take it anymore. I walked to our field and sat on our bench. I was crying before I even opened it. I stopped coming here when he stopped talking it was too hard. I once thought about bringing someone else here I mean it's a stunning view, it should be seen. I can't though it just feels wrong, it's our spot our field . I could feel him sitting next to me. I swear I felt the warmth of his rough hand on my own. After reading it I didn't know how to feel, relived, hurt ,pissed, happy, devastated. All of the above. I ripped the letter up into a million pieces and let the wind take it away. Now I only come here when I am really sad and need an escape, or when I'm really drunk and want to call Harry. There is no service out there so I don't have to worry about my calls going thorough.

Harlow,
I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say besides that. I am truly sorry I couldn't live up to all the promises I made you. I wanted to I really did. As you know I have a girlfriend and things are getting pretty serious. I know you don't care about that but I want you to know that I didn't stop talking to you because of her. Yes she didn't like our relationship nor did she appreciate that the back ground on my phone was a picture of us together for the first three months of us dating. It wasn't that I was choosing between you too. I just couldn't do it anymore I had to stop thinking about you. I wasn't lying when I told you love you. I want you to know that as well but I had to move on. You were always on my mind, wondering what you were doing, how you were, if you would like something. It was making it harder every time we talked I just couldn't get you off my mind. It was overwhelming how much I thought about you Harlow and it was getting in the way of what I have with Amanda. I could tell I was hurting her too, I don't want to hurt anyone Low I don't but she is here and my girlfriend and lien you always said before likes to shove her tongue down my throat. I don't want to hurt you anymore I want you to move on I want you to find love because you deserve it more than anyone. There will be someone better than me and it won't take you three years to let them kiss you. Please let your walls down. The world isn't all bad Harlow people army as bad as we thought they we said they were there's good people out there. You have to let people in to see the good in them though. Be careful and always be safe. You will always be mine and I will always love you but I think this is what is best for both of us. I'm sorry I just shut you out. Shit I don't even know if your reading this your probably pissed at me. Just know I didn't do this to hurt you. Own the world Harlow, your beautiful kind fun, your the best person have ever known let the world see the you I knew. Bye Low. I will always miss you.

Love, Harry Edward Styles

      It's okay though I've made it, I'm about to graduate this shit hole of a high school, life got a little better once crystal moved out. She's still evil but once I grew up she realized she couldn't torment me so much. We got in to a fight like a real fight at the end of my freshmen year. Right after Harry left I guess I was determined to stand up for myself and not lay down and die just because he was gone. That's when all the abuse stopped I wasn't going to be afraid of her anymore. I also told her if she ever touch me or Lyla again I would turn her in to the police and that I should anyway because I had prof. Which is true after I met Harry he gave me his older brothers digital camera to document what she was doing. I was even able to recored sometimes, so I had plenty of evidence. Carol is still a bitch that could care less about me and my dad is here less than he was when I was a child. I suppose he thought I didn't need him anymore, too bad he was never there to begin with.Life goes on, I've come to terms with being on my own.

I have a good friend, Dylan we bonded over the hatred of our names, and that were different She and I have a lot in common and are able to respect each other's boundaries. We also like to get in to a little mischief together. We thrive off one another when it comes to being mischievous. We look like complete opposite from the outside, her having short blonde hair to my long brown.Beautiful big brown eyes the kind that look like belong to a baby doll to my grey cat looking eyes and being very very skinny to me having some curves. But never the less we seem to have the same don't give a shit attitude, could care less to be around people because we just don't like most of them. Only she feels the need to let them know when she doesn't like them where as I don't want to talk to you especially if I don't like you.

Getting my fair share of trouble I've still maintained a four point oh and was excepted to Duke  university in North Carolina and Washington state in Seattle. I can't decide how far I want to go though. I applied to other collages and might have even gotten in but I didn't open the letters. Harry and I once said when we grew up we would move as far away as possible go to college and be best friends forever even have houses next door when we were to old to be roommates anymore. Duke was the farthest place I applied to so when I was accepted I stopped looking. When I came to the conclusion I didn't know if I wanted to do that anymore, I opened the letter from Washington state. I've never been to great at making decisions so I kept it between the two.

      Dylan was excepted into WSU also so I wouldn't be alone there which is nice. She's begging me to go with her so we could be room mates and have each other and as she says " continue to kiss ass and forget the names" . Although the ideal of a fresh start is very appealing, to go somewhere far away I could make a new name for my self. Not be Low the waste of a good ass, that the fucking juvenile students here no me as.  So there's negatives and positives to each potential selection.  I am taking the summer to come to a conclusion, hopefully I will make up my indecisive mind before it's too late, and hopefully I am able to make the right choice. For now i just have to get through graduation and the summer which shouldn't be to much of a problem. I'll be eighteen and Dylan and I have a lot of trouble planned.