Oui ⭐ tracob au

trente quatre - smoking cigarettes on balconies

It went on for a week. Troye and Jacob were, of course, still boyfriends, but Troye avoided being touched by Jacob or even sleeping with him. He always said it was because of how unsafe he felt now. Whenever Jacob would ask him why, Troye would just say that he felt scared. He was scared to be around the person he loved the most.

And the thought of it clawed at Jacob's heart.

While Troye slept peacefully in their room with the eggplant emoji plushie close to his chest, Jacob would stare at him and the, take off down the stairs, sitting on the windowsill facing the backyard and looking down at the small shimmering water of the swimming pool.

His lips traced around the bottom of a cigarette, the other end completely lit up as smoke filled both the sky and his lungs. He would smoke just one cigarette, not more than that. He just needed to get rid of the fact that he had instilled a deep fear of himself and his touch inside the boy.

And, on this Sunday, as he sat there on the porch, smoking with his eye closed, letting the thoughts and the events of the day absorb him. He talked to Troye and forcefully fed him some dinner since he was not eating properly.

Suddenly, all the sparks that had gathered in the soft boy seemed to disappear within the snap of a finger and Jacob had no one to blame for this except for himself.

He ran his hands through his hair and then saw a shadow looming from behind him. He was so sure that it was going to be Dan or Jo telling him to go and get some sleep that he pursed his lips as he said,

"Please don't disturb me and, yes, I'm fine, so you can go to bed and sleep," he said, pausing to throw the cigarette butt on the ground. "I'll be fine, you don't need to worry about me," he completed, stomping over the cigarette. 

"J-Jakey, it's me," a familiar, soft voice called out to him, and, for a minute, his heart felt as though it was the cigarette he had stomped on. He turned his head back to look at the small boy who was standing there in his white oversized sweater and blue pajamas. His hair was completely tousled, yet he looked wonderful and pretty as usual.

"Tok? What are you doing here? Did you forget your medicines again? Having trouble sleeping? Wait am I going too fast? Do you even understand any of what I'm saying?" Jacob asked, his heart was beating fast at the realization that this was the first time in a week that Troye had made an effort to directly approach to him.

Troye didn't say anything as he slowly walked up to the porch and sat down beside Jacob, his lips quivering due to the cold wind and just his bony hands wrapped around his waist as the only type of protection he had to the chilled breeze.

Jacob immediately took off his own sweater and gave it to Troye, placing it on his shoulder gently and looking at him with warm hazel eyes.

"Won't you cold feel?" Troye asked as he eyed the shirtless Jacob in front of him.

"No, it's alright. I'll be fine," Jacob assured him.

"Merci," Troye whispered as he gave a weak smile to Jacob. Jacob had missed seeing his beautiful smile dearly the past week.

Troye moved closer to Jacob and placed his head full of curls on Jacob's shoulder blade.

"You no mind?" Troye asked.

Jacob shook his head with a chuckle and said,

"Of course I don't mind, baby. I don't mind at all. It's alright with me."

And they sat in the uncomfortable silence that was surrounding them. Jacob didn't know why Troye was awake and neither did he know why Troye had decided to come up to him at this hour of the night. It was almost two in the night and Jacob, being the concerned boyfriend he was, just wanted Troye to go back to their bedroom and sleep peacefully.

"Troye, what are you doing here, baby? Can you please tell me?" Jacob finally asked.

"Can't sleep," Troye replied.

"Why?" Jacob asked quickly.

"You not there to bruddle me. I miss bruddling you," Troye said as softly as possible as Jacob felt his heart swell with more love for the French boy.

"Do you want me to come cuddle you?" Jacob asked.

"But I'm scared," Troye said genuinely. He was controversial, he didn't know what to do. That's why he was here, right next to Jacob. The warmth between their bodies united them and gave each other soft little touches in the corner of their hearts. The barren desert that had been abandoned for a week was beginning to bloom again.

"Troye, I'm sorry for what I did. It's just that I... I get aggressive sometimes. I used to be a lot more aggressive before I met you. It feels like the soft side you have is kind of contagious. It's spread through me and brought out a side of me that I never knew existed. I'm not like your dad, Troye. I'm like my dad. That's how I was "trained" to be and I can't make myself better without you. You seem to make me better, soft and kind. Tok, do y—" Jacob was trying to explain himself using hand actions while stumbling upon his words.

"Shush, Jakey. I do understand what you say," Troye said with his index finger placed softly on Jacob's lips, shushing him.

The color change of Troye's blue eyes, although minimalistic in the dark night, did convince Jacob that Troye understood what he was saying and that's when he knew the meaning of the phrase that two souls in love are connected. It meant that, when in love, the language between the two souls is nothing but love. They do understand everything said, although sometimes not literally. It's all understood.

"And I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that to Mitch. I'm so stupid and so sorry."

Jacob buried his face in his hands as he spoke those words. Troye gave a small smile again as he tilted Jacob's face up while saying to him,

"Jakey, people make mistakes. People forgive. I forgive you because you is not my dad. You is Jacob, my boyfriend, and I love you."

Jacob's eyes were brimming with tears at the amount of pureness that radiated from his boyfriend and he nodded softly as he whispered an I love you back.

"So now we go bruddle and sleep?" Troye asked.

"Oui," Jacob replied.

-

Hello if you love Shelly please express your love for her in the comments because she needs to know how lovely and beautiful and angelic and probably such a soft little person she is. Like I love her so damn much you can't even measure it. It literally swells up my heart that a person so caring as Shelly even exists. I would literally fly around the world and steal stars and even give her all the dogs of the world but still, that wouldn't be enough for what she deserves.

That's all I wanna say, please take care of yourself and remember that you all are just amazing and very beautiful and like I love you all so damn much you can't even. Each one of you is just a precious little munchkin and deserves all the happiness in the world. You're all worth it please don't forget that alright? ~ Jo

JO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, WHAT EVEN!?!?! AHHH!!! you're so sweet, i'm crying ndjsjnfe jo, you're my favorite. thank you for being in my life 

okay, so, i'm sorry for not updating for like an eternity like i'm sooooo sorry, ik i suck >_< but i hope you accept a double update as an apology :/

love you all to the sun and back (because just the moon isn't enough) take care of yourselves and i'm always here if you need help or advice, okay? ~ shellz